Somehow, one never forgets...

“Then one morning she’d begun to feel her sorrow easing, like something jagged that had cut into her so long it had finally dulled its edges, worn itself down. That same day Rachel couldn’t remember which side her father had parted his hair on, and she’d realized again what she’d learned at five when her mother left – that what made losing someone you loved bearable was not remembering but forgetting. Forgetting the small things first, the smell of the soap her mother had bathed with, the color of the dress she’d worn to church, then after a while the sound of her mother’s voice, the color of her hair. It amazed Rachel how much you could forget, and everything you forgot made that person less alive inside you until you could finally endure it. After more time passed you could let yourself remember, even want to remember. But even then what you felt those first days could return and remind you the grief that was still there, like old barbed wire embedded in a tree’s heartwood.”

― Ron Rash, Serena

Bukit Jawi Golf Resort

Whoever planned to have the data management course for Kedah Data teachers deserved a salute. Bukit Jawi Golf Resort is an idyllic, tranquil, serene location amidst oil palm estate right in the middle of no where! They kept us in the conference room for 4 days and 3 nights doing our school's database by building queries and creating tables. We hardly left the resort - besides there was just no where to go - from 8:00am when we started by turning on our laptops until 10:30pm which sometimes extended until 11:00pm. Right up to the last day before the closing ceremony which was supposed to be at noon extended till 1:00pm. It was very intensive, tiring, neck-aching (what with the ultra hard mattress) but worth the weekend since I managed to complete my database. The breaks for food was welcomed and in the evening where the break was longer, some of the men teachers jumped into the swimming pool or we went for a walk around the vicinity. I loved it and enjoyed it because I got to be among like-minded people whose main goal was to complete the database. I had not had so much fun and just be myself - happy, carefree and basking in the warmth and kindness of human nature. What with being pampered with good food, great company ... it was hard to face reality again. :-)

The view in its glorious green colour - soothing after a few hours of data work...

The best things in life...:-D

The Amazing Moments in Life :-)

Al-Fatihah

Last night I received an sms about 10:30pm informing me that Rokiah Mustaffa, a staff, had passed away. I wrote about her in one of my posts. She had amputated her left leg due to diabetes. So, I contacted a friend and we agreed to go together to pay our last respects.

When we reached there, most of the other staff had come and gone. There were still a few more and Cikgu Norpah was there. It was a nice surprise. She was my ex-Principal, now retired, in this school. She was such a comforting presence that whenever I met her, she would hug me close and I could feel the sincerity in her caringness towards me. She gave you a sense of comfort and protective feeling. We just caught up with each other for a while before I made way to pay my respects to Rokiah.

I was still okay then. Yet, when I hugged Athirah, her 20 year old daughter, I could not help but cry for her and with her. I hugged her close and held her tight, hoping to take away a little of her grief and sadness. I always emphatised with young people losing their parents because I had gone through it. She was  my ex-student in Form Three. She was also the only child. I wish I could offer more than condolences yet, I think, the presence of most of her ex-teachers helped her to get through today. InsyaAllah.

I took my leave and as I drove home, I recited the Al-Fathihah for aruah Rokiah. I cried all the way home. Life is so short. Whatever comes your way, take it, enjoy it, make the best of it and treat it like it's going to be the last "nikmat" Allah will give. Let's not live life with regrets, what ifs, what could have been....Allah has planned our lives such that when something is meant to happen, it happens. So, take it and accept it with open arms and heart. Vice versa for something that you want to happen but will not happen because it is not meant to.

For Athirah, you need the strength to face life on your own with only your Father. May you be blessed with the love, support and encouragement of your family i.e. relatives, friends and most of all, Allah swt. Al-fatihah for Rokiah. Amin.

Why add quotes?

How perfectly, absolutely, entirely true  :-)

The Gotong Royong - Reflections

I was never really involved in a gotong royong of this scale at my housing estate i.e. from the preparation, cooking and cleaning up. Usually, I would go and help out for awhile and excused myself after a couple of hours. Most of the time I attended the wedding or functions as a guest who came to eat and go home. Thus, I never knew what was involved and how they ran this event. I had done my fair share of this kind of wedding preparation courtesy of Noor's 8 siblings. Kifli and Mohamad got married at my house here, as both their wives are from Kedah. But then, I was much younger.....hmmm  ;-)

What was most significant was the cooperation and togetherness to make this event a success. The spirit of helping out by both the men and women. I got to know some of them and talked with the men, too, whom I never really interacted closely before. They teased me with their rendition of their version of classroom English. Almost all of them called me "Cikgu". I enjoyed bantering with them and changing ideas, discussing about education, their children ... something I would never have done if it had not been at my house. And vice versa. They would not dare approach me in this cordial and relax atmosphere. Most of them realised that I was not so bad after all. :-D  Maybe it was my aloofness and reserved self that put them off. Yeah, one of the benefits of the gotong royong was I let myself be known to them. I enjoyed it and I would like to think that they too, benefitted from knowing me.

Another thing that I observed was that almost all the people involved in the gotong royong were either retired, in their 50's, with a few in their 40's and 30's. The young included my two sons - Syafiq and Ikram. A few young children who followed their mothers. The youths kept away and just came to eat. I was thankful my two boys were obliging to help out from the washing of plates to cleaning up. It used to be that these kind of events would attract all the young girls and boys out as it was the time that they could mingle and mix freely. This was a way to get to know each other. Parents would observe and enquire about them, their parents, education, jobs....anything. :-{  Well....that was then.  :-) Now is now.

It was very tiring and exhausting. I could not imagine Sofiah. Is it really worth it? The exhausted, tired neighbours and self? Is it worth the bonding of neighbours? Is it worth to carry on this tradition when the young ones are not even interested? I don't have the answers to that. We were just the "wakil tuan rumah" but it was like it was our khenduri. I think I am just getting too old for this. It is sad that there is no continuity. Another tradition slowly going...going...gone.

The Gotong Royong - Mohd Firdaus Mohd Shah's wedding reception

31st March 2012. Saturday. Sofiah's son, Firdaus, was holding the wedding reception at our housing estate. She lived across my house. Let's said it's an L-shape and my house was on the horizontal. She had asked that she might used my area as the reception area for the 2,000 guests invited, as the main cooking area for the guests and storing purposes. Noor and I were delighted and happy to oblige a neighbour and a friend whom we had known since we first moved here. My house was the end lot so we had the plot of land that was part of the playground. It is just opposite the playground. We knew it would involve a lot of work but ...I really did not expect to be flat out after the khenduri!!!!

It started on Thursday, 29th March. I came home late and found that they had already put up the 6 tents in front of my house. Thus, I could not enter to park my car. So, I parked it at the next lane. That night they had already put up some tables and chairs. Friday, 30th March, they started after solat Subuh. Din and company came about 6:45am and brought along all the cooking utensils, gas cylinders, pots and pans, .... the works. Half the porch was taken up. Luckily, Sofiah and her side of neighbours prepared breakfast. The week before, when Zin was here, Noor and he cleared out the plot of land. Two tents were erected for the kitchen and preparation. By noon, the 110 chickens arrived. It was cut into 20 pieces. Thus, we have a total of 2,200 pieces to clean up. It had to be done immediately so that they would not be spoilt. So, the ladies who had been around since morning started to clean up the chicken. Then, another group came to replace the first who wanted to go home for their prayers. Lunch was cooked by other neighbours. Just a simple buffet of ulam, sambal belacan, gulai ikan kering, ikan kembong goreng and sayur kubis. Sedap pulak makan ramai-ramai. After prayers, the men started coming to set up the stove and kitchen. So, Kak Wan, being the main chef, started frying the chicken so that they would not go bad. We started with the onions, ginger and so forth. By solat maghrib, the chicken were fried. Kak Wan prepared the chilli which took almost 3 hours to cook with slow fire. At the same time, the men started cutting off the beef when it arrived after 5:00pm. Pak Alang, who was in charge of cooking the gulai, prepared his rempah and started to cook it that night. By the time, we cleaned up for the day, it was almost 11:30pm. I was so tired! I put my head on the pillow and slept like a dead log!.

Saturday also started early. The main cooks came and started cooking at 7:00am. I had to go to school for the PIBG meeting. Datuk Lat Shariman, the Pegawai Tugas-Tugas Khas PM aka the PA came to officiate the meeting. I asked HM if I could go home earlier since I was having the khenduri at my house. He okayed it. I went back around 10:30am after Datuk Lat had given his opening speech. When I reached home around 11:00am, almost everything was ready. The men, led by Che Din, had steamed the nasi minyak. It was the first time I could observe how to cook this 'nasi apollo' as they called it here. Usually, women did not mix with the men so I had never seen it done. Now, it was at my house area, so I was free to go between the women and men areas. I stayed to watch and learn. I studied and asked questions on how to steam the rice. Interesting. I learned something new today. Alhamdulillah. I'm going to try cooking nasi lemak this way. By noon, the guests started to arrive. We were kept busy with the food, more cooking of the rice, making sure the dirty plates were washed, the tables were cleared up, the food replenished....we only took breaks for prayers. By 4:30pm, the guests were trickling down. We started to clean up. We finally cleared up everything including washing the pots and pans, clearing up the kitchen area, even sending back the kitchen utensils and everything by solat maghrib. I was beat! I was so dead tired! I think all of us were.

After solat maghrib, I just laid down on the bed and fell asleep. I was too tired to even eat. We were really feeling our age.  :-) The moral of the gotong royong? When it's the boys turn....I'll opt for catering services :=D

True isn't it?