A Very Soul Lifting Resolutions.... 2014

Heart and soul resolutions

BY SOO EWE JIN  (The Sunday Star, 29th December 2013)

Something simple and meaningful can make a real difference in somebody’s life.

OKAY. It’s that time of the year when columnists like us are granted the licence to offer some New Year resolutions to others. We can be serious, or we can be funny. But the reality is that few people will take our suggestions seriously unless they strike a chord within us.

In the spirit of this column, which draws on many real-life experiences I go through myself, I would like to offer 10 resolutions that are up to us, as individuals, to fulfil. They do not depend on others doing their part first. The power, as we say, rests solely in our hands.

1. Watch the sunrise outside your house: Yes, the sun rises each morning, wherever you may be. You don’t need the backdrop of an emerald sea or snow-capped mountains to watch this remarkable event. You just have to wake up early and step outside. And as you watch the colours change hues, you will be reminded that every new day brings forth blessings, and you will be thankful. And, yes, the sunsets are just as great.

2. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say nothing at all: These are the wise words of Thumper the rabbit in the Disney classic, Bambi. Remind yourself that careless words can and do hurt people’s feelings. And, please, don’t begin a statement with, “I do not mean to be racist but….”

3. Write a thank you letter or note: Even if your writing, like mine, is barely legible these days, a handwritten note posted to someone will definitely be appreciated amidst the bills and junk mail we get in the postbox daily. And while you are at it, leave a thank you note for your postman as well.

4. Treat your body with gentle loving care: Go to the gym or spa if there is one nearby. Those of you who live in gated communities and high-end condos should make use of the facilities you already paid for. Or just take a walk in a nearby park. Take a break from Candy Crush and play a real game of tennis. Take periodic retreats to the nearby hill stations where the air is clean and the noise of the world can be left behind.

5. Pick up the trash: If you see litter, don’t just mumble that people lack civic consciousness these days. Pick it up and place it in the bin. Your example may just inspire others to do likewise.

6. Switch off that smartphone for a day: It’s okay not to bring the phone along when you go for dinner. There is really no need to take pictures of every dish you order. And while selfie is a recognised word in the English dictionary, don’t go overboard. Just remember how Michelle looked like when Obama got so carried away with the Danish prime minister.

7. Pay someone’s bill: This is not as difficult as it seems. If you know a friend uses prepaid (and normally the “poorer” friends are the ones who do so), you can use your online banking account and top up the phone for her. She will be most pleasantly surprised when she gets the SMS that says RM60 has been loaded onto her phone and she does not have a clue who did it. A toll ticket, a cup of coffee, or even a full dinner bill can be quietly settled for total strangers if you are prepared to do so.

8. Go to a nursing home, a dialysis centre or a cancer support centre: Even if you regularly send monetary support to worthy charities, take time to visit these places yourselves. Your encounters with patients, caregivers, volunteers and home workers will give a fresh dimension to how you view life.

9. Make a promise to spend time with someone and keep it: Don’t just say, “we’ll catch up sometime” and forget about it. A dear friend told me once, when we were attending a funeral service, that flowers should be sent to the living while they can still smell them. Start making arrangements for those “let’s have a cuppa” days so that you can spend time with loved ones amidst the sweet aroma of brewed coffee.

10. Say thanks to the “forgotten” folk: There are many people we tend to take for granted. Just look around your office and ask yourself who keeps the office clean, who takes out the rubbish, who delivers the internal mail… And likewise in the home, in the neighbourhood, and even in the places of worship we go to. Be thankful, and learn to say thanks.

Zin ...

During Zin's stay with us, I took him to my school. Zin is a hobo, a wanderer, a man who preferred to have no strings attached whether material wise or people. He leads his own life with his own beliefs, principles and way of life. He is what he is. We respect his choice of life as long as he still practices his faith. His interpretation may not be the same as ours but we believe that everybody has a right to his or her own perception of life. And he is the best brother a sister can have !!!

All my growing up years, Zin was always there as my protector and brother. He was fiercely protective of us - he has 9 sisters!!! - and none of the guys in Peringgit dared to disturb us and none got to know us better. Hmmm .... :-)). He hurt his back a few years back in a fall and due to his age - he is 54 years old - he could not find a new job that suited him. Thus, the family had an account for him to see him through his life. InsyaAllah, he had sisters and brother who loved him and always thought the better of him. Over the last few years, whenever I travelled alone for my sojourn with my sisters, Zin would accompany me back to Alor Setar. He used to make it a one day trip. We would reach Alor Setar in the afternoon and he would take that night's train back to KL. Isshhh....it was dfficult to make him stay and I usually obliged his request to return to KL. Thus, with that freedom of choice, he felt free to accompany me back as he knew I would not hold him back and would respect his wshes. Hence, when he came along this time, he did not mention anything about returning, I took him visiting around Alor Setar. I, too, became a tourist in my adopted state.... ;-))

Zin is good and skilled with his hands. Now he is into making model houses. He has refined his skills and the models turned out beautiful and finely made. I would say it is mostly made with a lot of love and care. He takes pride in his work and although he takes orders from our friends, he never really expects to make money out of it. He uses his allowance from the family fund to furbish his latest hobby. Zin is also an avid reader and he always carries a book with him wherever he goes. We used to read the same genre of books but now we are more into religious theme books. He likes to buy books and usually he reads them and does his own interpretation.

Zin at work on his latest project - Rumah Melaka

The completed project - it was modelled after our house in Peringgit except that this is more traditional, authentic Rumah Melaka. It took him almost a month to complete this.

The side view - Beautiful !! Zin and I had a nostalgic time talking about the "old" house where we grew up. This is modelled after Nenek Ponya's house. Bapak had modernised our house.

As usual, when I drove - ZIn refused to take his driving licence preferring instead to walk and used public transport - he would talk and we would discuss anything from the weather, the environment, the latest books he had read and sang songs from Lite.FM when it was familiar to both of us. Yes, he kept me awoke and gave me the strength to drive on until we reached our destination safely. It was always very easy going between us and we made good travelling companion. Since he was around this time around, I took him to my school. I asked him to repair the sink in the exam room which had been leaking for the year. Complaints and requests for repair from the school took a long time. In fact for the whole of the year !!!

He loved the road to my school which was lined with paddy fields in their growing up process. He could see the same level of beautiful, evenly high paddy as far the eyes could see.... He loved open spaces and closed up areas were claustrophobic and constrained him. I also took him to taste the special Ais Kacang Salji near my school. This was a special ais kacang which dated back to our childhood days - remember ais kacang Tai Chong at Jalan Bunga Raya? Those in Melaka would know this..:-D)) - the finely shaved ice melts in your mouth. The red beans were home cooked instead of the canned version. It was scrumptious .. :-D))

Ais Kacang Salji from Simpang Empat ... melts in your mouth due to the fine ice shaving

Then, I took him along the route of the kampung road which I took while my usual road was under construction. We drove along Jalan Tokai and passed by the huge overflowing tree of the house that I like to see. We went into Jalan Tok Keling and into Jalan Alor Mengkudu until Alor Setar. The roads were lined with paddy fields, kampung houses and less traffic. During his stay, I also took him to visit authentic Rumah Kedah - this was written in my previous postings - and after 3 days - which was quite long for him - he wanted to leave. Thank you Zin ... for always being there.

Zin, leaving on the train to KL - until the next visit i.e. accompany me back to Alor Setar

Rumah Seri Banai aka Rumah Tok Penghulu

After visiting "Rumah Tok Su', we visited its' neighbour - "Rumah Seri Banai" or the "Tok Penghulu's" house. It was a lot smaller but just as impressive. This house was given to UUM and the university presented it to the state when they heard about this project of preserving old, authentic and original Kedah houses. There were only 2 houses at this public park. This house had more intricate carvings and just as beautiful. Yet, personally, "Rumah Tok Su" had attached itself to my heart because it resembled so much of the old house in Peringgit. Zin was impressed with these 2 houses and was impatient to start drafting the model. I was deeply impressed with these two houses especially "Rumah Tok Su".

The plaque that stated the origin and history of Rumah Seri Banai

A view of the house

A section of the house - I love the concept of open windows and letting in the sun

Zin with the mannequin to add a homely touch to the house...:-)) Zin commented that they were of the same height

Zin explaining the "tupai-tupai" - a special feature that attached the supporting beams

One opens the main door and leads straight to the bed chambers - there are no rooms in this house

The side view of the house

After these two impressive houses, I took Zin to visit "Rumah Merdeka" i.e. the house or mansion of the late Tunku Abdul Rahman, our first Prime Minister. It had been upgraded and he had modified it that it resembled much of an English colonial house. Tunku was deeply influenced by English structure. Yet, the house was magnificent in its own way.

Finally, the last house we visited was "Rumah Kelahiran Mahathir" - our ex-Prime Minister. It was a humble kampung house and retained much of its originality. I liked its simplicity yet it was impressive in its own way.

Every house has a story to tell. Where we lived, grew up, faced lives ups and downs ... left a lasting impression on us. It is up to us to make the house a home. Home is where the heart is .... otherwise it will just be a ... house.

Acting Tourist Guide ... ;-)) - Rumah Tok Su

Zin accompanied me back to Alor Setar after the "Cuti-Cuti Cari Makan" holidays were over. If I had to drive back alone, usually he would follow me. This time around, he stayed on for 3 days. Thus, I had to keep him busy before he decided he wanted to leave.. Usually he would arrive and that night itself or tomorrow he would prefer to return to KL. His latest hobby or projects was making model miniature houses. He had just completed a model of "Rumah Melaka". He wanted to see the houses of Kedah so that he had an image of the houses.

Zin at work with the Rumah Melaka

A model of a Minangkabau house and a gazebo by Zin

Thus, I became his tourist guide. I had lived here for 22 years and I had never ventured into these exhibition houses. I took him to visit a "Tok Su's" house near Taman Jubli Perak. I had passed this house for years but had never entered it. I always saw outdoor shooting for weddings. Entrance was free. It was the real house with its original wood and everything. According to the guard on duty the house was bought from a descendant of Tok Su by Dato' Sanusi Junid, who was the Chief Minister of Kedah at that time. They transported the house intact without disturbing any of the original fittings. The house was beautiful. I fell in love with it. Honestly I was usually very detached about houses. It would be just a house. But this house, aged 130 years old and made of cengal wood, had the layout of my childhood home memories. Not my own house but the old houses of some old folks back in Peringgit. This house felt so welcoming and I could only talk about the nostalgia that it brought forth with Zin. The guard was very friendly and knowledgeable. If only I could ..... there was no electricity or any wiring done so as to preserve its' authenticity. Photos depended on the sun rays filtering through - adding to the romanticism of the house.... ;-} We were lucky for the fine weather !!!

"Rumah Tok Su" - 130 years old and totally made of cengal. Beautiful house.

Another section of the house - reminded of Nenek Ponya's house - an area where family and friends will sit and have their meals or just to chat. I love this part.

The front angle of the house - airy, spacious, intricate carvings and so welcoming ... I felt so much at home

Zin (right) with the friendly guard aka tour guide

When you climb up the stairs outside, you will come to this section first before you climb up another flight of stairs leading into the house

Zin checking out how the main doors are connected at the main stairs leading into the house

A side view of the house.

CCCM - Day 8 : FINAL DAY

We started the day early as we were going to Tanjong Rambutan (not the mental asylum..:-)) to visit Izwan, our younger brother. I wanted to make it a point to visit him at least once a year. Since he could not come to visit me, then I would make the effort. Ikram was on driving duty as it was a Sunday. We stopped at Rawang R&R for breakfast. We made another pit stop at Simpang Pulai RTC to buy some fruits and toys for Hadi, Izwan's son. Kak Haj was not sure of his house but we found his housing estate. Thus, we met Rohana, his wife, who was still shy with us as we only met once in a while. They came down for Hari Raya Haji but I was not around at the time of their visit. Hadi, was already 2 years and 6 months. Tall and lanky like Izwan. Slightly darker with large eyes but still had that his father's Chinese looks. It was good to see them to forge our sibling bond.

Our brunch courtesy of Ana's cooking - very nice - the mee goreng was simple, sedap but pedas. Still we ate a lot. The lemang was made by her brother. Perfect/ I don't quite like lemang but I ate 2 pieces. 

We left Ipoh and wanted to make a pit stop at Tapah R&R but the traffic had built up and there was no parking at all. At least we had performed our prayers at the mosque near Izwan's house. Traffic was moving but volume of traffic had built up. We finally stopped at Ulu Bernam R&R for toilet break and coffee. We proceeded to send Ikram to Uitm Shah Alam. Wah was confident of navigating us as I was a hopeless driver. I could drive but I honestly had no sense of direction! We lost our way as they had closed our regular exit. We just followed the directions to the gate and had no idea where we were. So, we just followed the road sign that stated "Lebuhraya Persekutuan" or "Kuala Lumpur". I realised we were in Seksyen 9 - an old friend's area. Hmmm ... we turned a corner and it was Seksyen 23....Oh dear ... we laughed at our predicament and kept looking out for the road signs. We went through PLUS highway, NUKE highway...turned into KESAS highway and turned a corner straight into LITRAK highway. Luckily we had the Touch and Go card. We went on into LDP-Puchong highway that took us to the Motorola intersection. It took almost an hour from Shah Alam to Kelana Jaya. Well ... what a round and round the roundabouts ....ha..ha.. :-D))

After confirming with Zin that he could follow me, we realised that tonight would be our last night together for this holidays. Kak Hajar was going off tomorrow. My school called to inform me of the PMR results. I did not feel like facing the school yet but when I called Jamilah, my chief-sec, she wanted to go and take her daughter's results. Khoo, the PMR exam-sec, had a meeting for marking exam paper. Thus, I would have to be in charge. Well ... so, we arranged that I would drop off Kak Haj at Tapah toll and Abang Zul would come down from Camerons to pick her up. Zin would follow me back to Alor Setar. Then, Friday, we would come down again for Noor's cousin's wedding. Thus, I had to cancel the appointments made with some friends and had to give a meeting with an old friend a miss. Well... it's not just meant to be. .. ..

We called up Hanah to see if she was free to join us for our final dinner. We took her to Kenny Rogers at Amcorp Mall and had a good time bonding our sisterhood.

Amcorp mall - my favourite mall as it has Book Excess - all brightly lit to welcome Christmas

Muffins and Tropical Paradise ( a mixture of orange, pineapple and strawberry) 

Hanah was hungry so she had the quarter chicken with 3 choices of side dishes

We just had the quarter chicken with coleslaw

The Christmas decoration at the reception

The entrance into Amcorp Mal

Alhamdulillah. SubhanAllah. MasyaAllah. This year our Cuti-Cuti Cari Makan holidays were really meaningful and blessed. It was a reunion of sorts for almost everybody in the family. In fact this year I got to meet up and strengthen our family ties. Kak Zizah and family via Munir's wedding. And Kakak Kamariah and Naim ( only cousins ). Hamid and his mother in-law (Mala's mother). Kak Che Mah, Kak Era, Kak Ita, (Abang's wife), Abang and Abang Omar - the other half siblings. Hanah. Zin. Izwan & family. Kak Ti and family. Alhamdulillah. "Semoga Allah pelihara kasih sayang Nya antara kita". The missing siblings were Hanum and Suraya. Kak Hajar mooted this idea of a family day next year - to organize a family day. We'll see. InsyaAllah.

CCCM Day 7

Today was a day of trying out Chinese Muslim food. We went to HOMST restaurant at Taman Tun Dr. Ismail. We checked out its website and read the reviews. Thus, we ordered what we wanted .... it was quite nice.

The well-thumbed menu - popular with the Malays

From top left - sizzling tofu, otak-otak, egg fu yong, mix vegetables and butter prawns

Since we had an early lunch, we decided on a late tea at Chicken Rice shop at Giant, Kelana Jaya.
We thought of going to the night market at Wisma FAM but the rain had started so we went home. Since the rain drizzled off, I went off for my walk around the park to enjoy the cool, crispy, fresh air. I really needed my walk after eating and eating ....

From left - friend chicken dumpling, spring roll and pie tee ...

Dinner was with Ikram, who arrived late evening, at Chan Abdullah restaurant at Kelana Jaya. We tried the dumplings. It was okay .... most probably will not order again. Ikram tried the wantan mee with BBQ chicken. Wah and I tried the Cantonese kueteow and Cantonese Ying Yong but they looked exactly the same except the ying yong came with meehoon. We usually came here for a full dinner course. It s quite okay and near to Wah's place ....

The dumplings - we were not given a choice of dumpling. It came in the set above either 4, 6 or 9 pieces

The menu ...

The Cantonese kueteow and Cantonese Ying Yong looked exactly the same except the ying yong was a mixture of kueteow and mee hoon

Wantan mee with BBQ chicken ....

CCCM Day 6

How fast the week goes !!!! It's already Friday. We decided to prolong the "Cuti-Cuti Cari Makan" and wait for the outcome of Abang's surgery. Today as usual, we went for our morning walk. One advantage of staying at Wah's place was the park (although small) was at the end of her row of houses. It was so convenient. So far I had not miss my walk as it was good for my legs although it could be so stiff sometimes.

So, we went to check out Bawang Merah cafe near Subang Jaya Medical Centre. The food was not bad but the place was small and the queue was long. Luckily we came early thus, we left when the queue started.

The sup daging tetel ... sedaap ..especially the lemak...Kak Haj's favourite

 After our simple lunch, we proceeded to the van under the tree opposite the small Giant supermarket at Kelana Jaya to survey the variety of dishes there and bought lunch for Hanah. Luckily we were already full. If not ... isshhh....

The array of dishes on the simple, unassuming van - from top to bottom, left to right ...neatly arranged

Choosing the dishes to buy ..

We had a simple tea of goreng pisang and cempedak. This IS really getting to be a bad habit. Our dinner tonight was sponsored by Ain, the "cucu"s mother. Since Kak Ti and Abang Md. Noor were around (her parents) she decided to treat us dinner at Serai Restaurant at Paradigm Mall.

The menu - understated elegance

Nasi Kerabu Platter

Serai Platter

Smoked Salmon Spaghetti

Seafood Marinara

Char Kueteow

Beef Kueteow

Outside the restaurant. Kak Haj loved the "mickey mouse" cactus on display

CCCM Day 5

We started the day with our usual morning walk after Kak HAj had watched her Korean drama. Then, we went to our breakfast joint and had our usual fare. We wanted to visit Abang Long who was warde at the Heart Institute (IJN). Today we decided not to go for our food trail but to perform our filial duties towards our eldest half-brother. Since parking would be such a hassle there, we took the LRT to Ampang station. From there, we took a taxi to IJN. Since Kak Haj was familiar with the place (Abang Zul had an angioplasty a few years back), she led us to Abang's room. A single room where Kak Ita would have some privacy.

Abang was at Hospital Kuala Lumpur where he was in CCU for shortness of breath. Since the hospital said he would have to wait for his turn for an appointment, they transferred him to Prince Court hospital and did an angiogram there. They discovered three blocked heart valve which needed a by-pass immediately. As the charges would be expensive, they enquired IJN if it could take Abang in. Thus, Abang was admitted into IJN since Tuesday. If his statistics were stable - he was also diabetic - they would do the by-pass on Saturday. We managed to catch up with the other half of the family and it had been years since I met Kak Era and Abang Omar. It was a reunion of sorts ... :-}} We took our leave when more relatives started to come and had a simple lunch at Ampang Park food court.

We stopped at another goreng pisang stall and bought some for tea. This was getting to be a habit .... to make up the simple lunch, Wah decided on Manhattan Fish Market at Subang Parade. It was okay and when I checked out the restaurant was halal although it did not display the logo. After that, we dropped by Ain's house since Kak Ti was here to visit Abang. We played with the grand children before they went to sleep and caught up with Kak Ti. Abang Md. Noor had gone to watch a movie with Azizi so that left us girls to gossip the night away ....

The flaming of our order - I guess just to add to the drama ..

Manhattan Food Platter

Play time with "cucu" .... :-))

Our side dishes of coleslaw and macaroni cheese