RIP Abd Hamid Abd Aziz ( June 1957 - January 2018)

It's 4:30am. 2 February 2018. Friday morning. The house was quiet and the silence was much welcomed. It was nineteen days after Hamid's passing. Tears still rolled down quietly and my voice still broke when I talked about him.

He was the fourth child in a family of twelve and the eldest out of three boys. A very responsible, trustworthy, faithful, good natured and always with an affable laughter. He saw only the goodness in people. He could be a bit authoritarian and disciplined. Smart and diligent. He was a bank branch manager, a businessman and entrepreneur until his health was taken away from him. His tests and trials by Allah were very challenging but he faced them with total acceptance, utmost patience and perseverance. There were times when he felt so low yet he just performed his prayers and talked to his Creator in his prostration.

He contracted tuberculosis (TB) during his tenure running a furniture factory back in the mid-nineties. He employed foreign workers to work in the factory. He was a smoker. He was always breathing in sawdust and mingled with his employees. His coughing got worse and he was treated for TB. One day he just collapsed outside his house. He managed to crawl out from his house. His wife and two kids were in school. Neighbours saw him and contacted his wife and the ambulance. He was in a coma for a fortnight and doctors had given up on him. One third of his lungs were badly affected and he had difficulty breathing. Allah was the Most Knowing. While my eldest half brother was busy arranging his funeral and burial, Hamid pulled out of coma and was graced with almost twenty long years with only a functioning two thirds of his lung. My eldest half brother passed away four years ago. Hamid even outlived him. Being a pious and faithful servant of Allah, Hamid knew he was given a second chance. He lived fully, took care of his family as best as his could, be the big brother we could all depend on, cheerful even when he was in pain, so accepting and became the best servant of Allah as he could. We nicknamed him "The Saint" in every sense of the word.

Hamid knew he could die at any time. He was well prepared for it spiritually and religiously. Yet, the way he was taken to return to his Creator, still gave us an unexpected shock that we kept calling each other for confirmation. He passed away peacefully in his sleep after two decades of suffering the difficulty of breathing and unable even to exert much energy physically since last year. A walk from the gate to the front door left him breathless. Climbing up the stairs no matter how short was torturous. Yet he was always grateful that he could still walk although he could no longer perform his jemaah prayers at the mosques in his last year of life. He could no longer catch up with the Imam.

He was my handsome, easy going, affable, easy temperament and the one sibling who was always calm and composed. When he came to my school to collect my report card, he was very popular among my girl friends. Some of them still remembered him. As Sue said when she heard the news - "Of course I remembered him. You always referred to him in everything. We heard a lot about him from you." He was Hamid whether in sickness or in health. He was always there. He was dependable to solve anything. To listen to anything. Even though he gave his views or opinion, he never tried to persuade you to accept it and respected whatever decision we made. He was never judgemental and thus he made friends easily. Friends who helped him out. Friends who took advantage too.

Hamid was ready to face his Creator. We were not ready to let him go. His wife was devastated and was in such shock that when she answered the phone, all she could say was "Hamid has gone," repeatedly. She was inconsolable until her family and we arrived to give her emotional and physical support. Mala and I had some quiet time together as we were quite close. Recalling the times we shared taking care of Hamid. Telling her to be grateful for the years being given to be together. Twenty years to watch his two kids grew up and the eldest had already started working. He left his wife with nothing to worry about his affairs.

Losing a sibling is like losing the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle. Incomplete and can never be completed. We will always have you in our prayers. Hopefully you will meet up with Mak and Bapak over there. Rest in peace Hamid. It is a much deserved and well earned rest from Allah. Semoga tenang dan damai di sana. 

Al-fatihah. So early in the year. Is this an omen of sad tidings? Just last week we received news that amy partner's friend and best man during our wedding passed away in Kelantan. It's only January ... RIP Sharidan.

Farewell 2017 .... Welcome 2018

I was supposed to reflect on 2017 on the last day of December. Due to unexpected events, situations and circumstances, no reflection was done. (This is like doing my record book during my teaching years !!! :-} )  Well, while I am in the mood of doing so, let us get on with it.

2017 was a year of new beginnings. Ikram's invitation for a holiday to Manchester, UK, courtesy of Hanee, an ex-student from KL ...made me feel that in my thirty one years of teaching, I had done something right during my professional life. Although the invitation was for me, she was graciously generous to extend it to my family. It was an unexpected, once in a lifetime opportunity and although initially reluctant, Ikram was glad he went. He made many good, new friends and a bonding with Hanee and her twin sister, Sherry.

Moving into our new house was an experience unto itself. The hassle with the contractors and getting the furniture and curtains, packing and repacking, simple decorating and setting up a new home was faced with much patience and resilient. After twenty six years of living and making a home at our old house, leaving it was emotional and melancholic. We spent our last few days recalling the first day we stepped into the house, the birth of the three boys, the many gatherings we had, the floods, the monkeys, huge monitor lizards and the various species and colours of snakes ... the tears, the laughter and the love. Thus, we moved into our new house and hoping to make more memories and welcome more guests to grace our home. Insya Allah.

2017 also saw the completion of  Ikram's and Syafiq's tertiary education. Ikram received the offer for SL1M training programme with Sime Darby while Syafiq was still looking for a job. He wanted a job near home after being in the Klang Valley for seven years. Akmal had another year to complete his master's programme. Allah had been very kind to me. He let one son go at one time. Ikram left and Syafiq came home. Thus, I had company until Allah decided it was time to let him go. I am grateful and blessed.

Healthwise was challenging where old aches and pains decided to manifest themselves. I even had to undergo nebulizing to clear phlegm out of my lungs before the cough turned into bronchitis. My knees had taken too many falls over the years that osteoarthritis finally got the better of me. My endometrium had settled down ( I hope!! ) although the effects of it after almost three years were still felt at times. Yet, I am grateful and blessed as I could still walk, perform my prayers and fulfill my obligations and responsibilities.

Financially, I am thankful that I had more than enough that I could share with others especially my charity work. Being a simple person, I felt I did not want much anymore. Thus, I was able to foster poor kids through our #breakthecycle programme (GDees Learning Centre / Gooddeeds Kedah) with free tuition. I believed that as an ex-educator, poverty could only be broken through education. Thus, by empowering these under privileged kids with what their better peers had, lifted their self-esteem and self confidence. All they needed was an opportunity and Alhamdulillah, after a year, it worked. I hoped to see our first "kid" go to college or university. You can read all about our charity programme in my previous posts. Check out Gooddeeds and Gdees Learning Centre facebooks.

2017 also saw me being involved in the setting up of GDees17 Learning Centre. A spin off of Gooddeeds Kedah. We managed to get a place to rent and made it as our base for the free tuition classes for the chosen underprivileged and low achievers conducted by our volunteers. It was also the base for Gooddeeds to organise and execute their charity programmes like foodbox and free market. As I did not want any full time commitment, I was the unofficial advisor relating to education and whatever experiences I had I shared with these dedicated volunteers. Hence, I was still indirectly involved with education.

Thus, what does 2018 hold for me? I just go with the flow ... whatever has been decreed for me by the Almighty Allah, I accept yet I pray for guidance, strength, resilient and patience to face it.

Although it is late yet it is not too late to wish a lovely, memorable and blessed new year to all the reviewers. This year, it is time I move out of my comfort zone and embrace what Allah has graced the world for us to see, observe and learn from the wonders He has created. Insya Allah.