Caramel Pudding

I got my first taste of caramel pudding in Kelantan back in the 80's when I was posted there. Zariah, my then housemate, tried it and served it when I went visiting to her house in Beris Kubur Besar, Bachok. I did not get the hang of its taste. It has an eggy smell and very sweet, typical of Kelantanese desserts. It put me off this pudding for many years to come.

The second time in my life I tried this was in Mekah at one of the many kiosks in Ben Dawood mall. Noor and I went to the mall after Zohor. We did not go back to the hotel for lunch. So, while waiting for Asar, we wandered in the biggest, exclusive supermarket opposite Masjidil Haram. I enjoyed this place. You could find rambutans, mangosteens...but the exorbitant price!!! We really had a good laugh over it. :-D

Then, I saw this kiosk with this cute, yellowish pudding in small, round containers. The size of Kenny Rogers' muffins. I just wanted to taste it. I asked the seller what was this dessert? I assumed it's another Arab's dishes. At least he could speak English. He said it was caramel pudding. It cost 6 Riyal for something so small. I did not care. I wanted it even though Noor said it was expensive. So, we bought one to share in case I did not like it, then he had to finish it. As usual.  ;=) I was quite apprehensive to try something new. So, I took a small scoop with the spoon given. It was heavenly. It was smooth, delicious and just nice. I fell in love with it. I regretted not buying two!!! We were already on our way out of the building so, I told him I wanted another one tomorrow. The next day, the kiosk was not there any more. I never got to go there again after that as by then we were busy with the haj and going off to Arafah and Mina. But, I never forget its taste. It's like comfort food. You always remember it with a smile, a sense of happiness and a feel good feeling.

In Malaysia, especially during Ramadhan, there were quite a few versions of this caramel pudding sold at the bazaars. I also tried a few recipes given by friends, books and the internet. Yet, it was never quite the same. One day, I found Asyraf's blog. I knew him since he was a child. He is Kak Safiah's son. I tutored him in English Literature for his SPM. The only candidate in Alor Setar sitting for the paper. Mind you, he is from an Agama school! He is 20 years old, studying English and Literature at UIA. Same age as Syafiq. In fact, they also know each other since they went to the same tuition class. He likes to bake. He did this caramel pudding and put it in his blog, step by step. It looked simple enough.

So, I decided to give it a try. I put in too much custard powder, hence a little hard. The next time, it was perfect to me but Noor and Ikram said not enough caramel. Hmmm....they like everything sweet. Especially Ikram who has a sweet tooth and simply loves chocolates. Yes!!!! now I know how to do it. It may not taste as what I tasted before but at least it reminds me of that feel good feeling, when everything was alright with the world. :-)

Letting go....

  “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” – Albert Schweitzer

 “There’s no need to miss someone from your past- There’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future” – Unknown

 Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.
-- Gloria Naylor 

“If you really love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if not it wasn’t meant to be.”
Unknown

 “To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.” Helen Rowland quotes


“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”

 Helen Rowland quotes (English-American writer, 1876-1950)

 

What am I going to say...hmmm...hmmm...

"Kalau la perceraian itu jalan terbaik untuk sebuah perhubungan, itu la jalan yang terpaksa dipilih."

That was the sms I received yesterday. Sometimes, I wonder what is it about me that people seem to trust me with their problems. Even people that I would not categorise as very close, open themselves up to me. I am afraid because I might say the wrong words. Give the wrong advice. Express opinionated views. Not being subjective. You know how liberal I am with my views! There were times when I was having a drink at the school cafe, a staff sat down with me and started asking "What do you think....?" or "If you were in my place, what would you do?" I just could not walk away when someone was hoping for a response. "What would be your advice regarding..." I think sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger. As for myself, I would rather talk to my diary. Now, my blog. Yes, sometimes it helps when you write it down and rearrange your thoughts, you will notice how stupid your approach towards the problem.

Back to this young lady. She is in her 30's. She has been having problems since the last two years but more prominent during the end of last year. This is the second time she has raised this issue. Well, what could I say? Patience. Tolerance. Give and take. I think almost everybody would have gone through this trial in their marriage. when one day, you just found that it was just impossible to live together anymore. How hard you tried yet it was just not hard enough. That it was much easier to walk out rather than confront the issues. That nobody understood. That you were doing all the giving and the other half was just taking everything. That you were under appreciated. Hmmm...even I went through all that. It was only when you had lived together would you know whether you were compatible or not. At the end of the day, it was just tolerance, respect and acceptance. After so many years together, we are still together, you learn that maybe this is the best for you in this world. InsyaAllah.

What is happening in Shita's marriage is only known to her. Yes, she did tell me some of it. Her husband has lost his job and is still trying to make it. They used to live in a lavish style and now, although he still tries to maintain the house, it is a struggle. She has started a business and is doing quite well. Within 4 years she already has 2 branches, bought a new car and recently a house for her business. Her husband is struggling with his finance every month. He has to borrow just to cover his cheques. I know because Noor is one of the regular lenders. They are not working together to pull out of this trial and tribulation. She complains every time he asks for money. She will complain to me. What can I say? As long as you are able, help out. But sometimes, I wish the husband will do something else if this venture he is in is not showing any progress after 4 years. Sometimes, I think he is afraid of starting all over again. Already he is blacklisted by the banks. His creditors are always after him. Now the main complain is - she is running everything - the house, children, food, school....she complains that her husband does not even want to spend time with them. I am not sure if there is a third party.I always feel that as long as there is something good to hang on, why not try harder? It is so easy to walk out and leave. How many times in a marriage does one feel that way? Especially if there is no love lost? It depends on what is her priority now. Well, I guess I'll just listen and pray that Allah will show me a way to advise her.

I am afraid of what I may say to her tomorrow. We have a hi-tea appointment tomorrow. Jika tidak ada lagi rasa sayang atau cinta, sekurang-kurangnya masih ada rasa kasihan, hormat, redha dan terima hakikat bahawa ini adalah ketentuan kita di dunia ini. I think if she can accept these facts, she will not easily consider divorce as a way out.  I think I better not say something like - go and see a lawyer!!!   :-)

What a meaningful holiday...

The one week break was actually very tiring but meaningful As a friend commented, I went to a place that I had never ventured before. Vie was in Klang and I wanted to meet her since she came all the way from Sarawak. MSSM was on and she e-mailed me that she was coming with the Sarawak's basketball contingent. That was supposedly in Shah Alam. I was very happy since I was going to Kelana Jaya that week for a break. The week before I was in Penang and managed to meet up with Furziah and Wong, old USM friends. I was actually in Penang to meet up with Maureen.

So, I arranged on how to get to Shah Alam via public transport. Wah was not sure. I have only been to Shah Alam with Noor visiting his siblings. I have never actually been in Shah Alam on my own. I contacted Zeti, Kifli's wife to ask how to get there. She did not answer the phone so I deduced that she had gone back to Kuala Nerang for the holidays. So, I finally contacted an old friend after much consideration. He gave me the general whereabouts of the hotel and yes, there was a komuter that went to Shah Alam. I was okay with that since I had taken the komuter before to Seremban. Then...Vie said she would be putting up at SM Teknik, Klang. Oh dear...that was unfamiliar territory. Once again I had to ask to get a general idea of the whereabouts so that I would not be so lost. Finally, Zeti answered the phone and I asked a favour to help me to get to SM Teknik. I had that taken care of that part of my adventure. She would pick me up at the Shah Alam komuter station and sent me to Klang. Or I could just take a taxi or bus or whatever was available.

The problem now was how to drive to KL alone. Noor was busy and anyway, I always preferred to travel on my own if I was conducting my own business. He asked his nephew in Kangar if he wanted to go back to Melaka. I was hoping that he would. Allah had other plans for me. His nephew said he had a lot of work. So, out of desperation, I smsed Kak Haj in Camerons if she would like to go down to KL with me. I gave the reason as sister bonding time, meeting a friend and taking Zin back with me to Alor Setar. I had no hope in that request. I meant it was so unpractical and it was out of her way. Besides, I did not think that Abang Zul would agree. Yet, masyaAllah, she messaged me the next day that she would accompany me. She gave directions to meet her at Simpang Pulai fire station. She would take the bus down from Camerons. SubhanAllah. What did I ever do to deserve this obliging gesture from my sister? I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Next, how to find this fire station! Ha..ha.. with my poor sense of direction, I knew I would get lost. Finally, since Allah had arranged everything so nicely for me, I should just leave it to Him. :-) Noor was neither encouraging nor discouraging. I was going to drive alone for the first time without any of the boys or friends. Since I wanted to go, he just said go ahead. I drove non-stop and entered Simpang Pulai exit. I followed her instructions to a T and managed to find her. We had a good laugh and drove happily to Kelana Jaya.

The next day, Kak Haj, Wah and I walked to McDonald's for breakfast. Then, walked to the post office and Tabung Haji to settle their business. The plan was that we would walk back to the LRT station and parted ways at KL Sentral. They would be off to Jalan TAR. Zeti called about 9:00am and said that she would pick me up at GIANT supermarket at Kelana Jaya at 10:00am. She did not want me to take the komuter. I told her it was alright and it would be so troublesome for her. She insisted. Okay, fine with me. :-) She came and sent the two sisters to the LRT station and me to SM Teknik Klang. Using my friend's directions and the sign boards along the way, we managed to locate the hospital. First time we took the wrong turning. We got it right after the third try! My friend said turn right and Vie said turn left. Both were correct as Vie's directions were from Kesas highway. Oh well, at least I arrived there. :-D 

I spent the whole day with Vie. Sharing her joy, happiness, sorrow and pain. Zeti came again at 6:00pm to send us back. By the time we were driving back to Kelana Jaya, it was raining heavily. I took her out for dinner and I could just say thank you for a memorable day. I owe her one.

The next morning, Wah and I sent Kak Haj to Pudu to take the bus to Camerons. She would not go back with me as Zin would not follow me unless he knew that I had no one. We had breakfast in KL, lunch in Melaka and dinner in Kelana Jaya. :-) Wah sure enjoyed that. Kak Ti and Kak Leha made a fuss that we came back at such short notice. At least I did see them. Even for a few hours before we started the drive back to Kelana Jaya. Syafiq came for dinner that night after his exam. It was a lovely day. :-)

Thursday I left Kelana Jaya with Zin about 10:00am. It was an uneventful journey and we had a long talk together. I understood his problem and I think Noor would be able to help him. I only need to get him out of KL. He is such a protective and obliging brother. I hope we could somehow help to untangle the web that he had spun around himself. InsyaAllah, although he is such a cynical and sceptical man. We finally reached Alor Setar about 3:30pm. Exhausted but fulfilling. Thank you, ya Allah, for Kak Hajar, my old friend, Zeti and Zin. Alhamdulillah.

"Allah telah menyusun perjalanan setiap sesuatu itu."

Farewell, but not goodbye... ^_^

"And, in the end, it is not the years in your life that count. It's the LIFE in the years." Abraham Lincoln.

Kak Safiah. the PK 1, of my school retired today after 5 years here. I was feeling kind of nostalgic. Another treasured friend had retired but never gone out of my life.

I came to this new school in Alor Setar in December, 1990. When I first came, I had nobody here. No friends. No siblings. No relatives. Only Noor. I did not drive. And I did not want to trouble Noor to send me to and from school as it was 13km out of his way. So, on the first day, in the staff room, I asked if I could take a lift from anybody staying in Alor Setar.

Thus, I was introduced to Fauzi. A bachelor, then. A year older than I was. I started to take a lift from him from the second day until 2 years later. Our relationship went back that far. Taking a lift from Fauzi introduced me to Kak Safiah who was teaching in the same school. She too, took a lift from Fauzi. So, we travelled everyday together for more than a year before she transferred to another school. That's how we forged a friendship until now. Hence, the relationship started way back then. Fauzi is still teaching in the same school. But, he is another story. :-) I wish Kak Safiah the best in life and I gave her an aptly titled book "Nikmatilah Hidup Ini" which I bought in a book store in PKNS, Shah Alam last month. She may not be in school anymore but the warmth continuance of our friendship remains. InsyaAllah.

PC 7517 - the car that took me to school for almost 3 years. It used to be white in colour. Fauzi, my first and trusted friend in Alor Setar.  :-)

He's growing up....

‎"I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT HE DISOBEYS AND REBELS NOT TO DEFY HIS PARENTS BUT TO DEFINE HIS OWN IDENTITY." quote taken from a wise father, STAR, 7th March 2012. 

The issue that Akmal and I were disagreeing was on the length of his hair. Yes, he has lovely, wavy, soft locks. He let it grew long over the semester and extended into his semester  break at home. I offered to pay for his hair cut but of course, it was not taken. Not out of defiance, I guess but as an act of making a statement that he is old enough to decide for himself. I would prefer clean cut and nicely kept hair length that shows off his good looks and reflects his good bearing. Yet, there is a saying - do not judge anything by the looks or cover or clothing or...whatever. Hmmm...I guess there is no harm done as it is the look to go with his diving and water activities. What can I say?

Akmal

I guess I can say a lot of things but they know I do not nag. They know they have the freedom of choice and that Mum will respect their choices albeit reluctantly. Still, I get the privilege of voicing out my unhappiness, my point of view and my opinion. They will consider it but at the end of the day, the choice is theirs. Allah will be their guide and I pray they will hold on to their principles and faith. InsyaAllah.

I guess everybody will have to go through this phase in their lives. 

It's like the years have not gone by...

Meg, a retired teacher, my room mate for the night.

Kwee Chu, we had not met since Form 5 (1978)

Maureen and grand niece at Feringghi beach.

It was a nice warm feeling after the short weekend together and rebonding after so many years. Yet, even after such a long separation, it's like we have never parted ways. We just picked up where we left off and updated each other with our going-ons. Good friends do  not have to be together all the time to maintain the relationship. It's the feeling of sincerity, love and honesty without expecting nothing more but the best for each other.

I left with a happy, contented and fulfilling feeling when I went back to Alor Setar after 2 days and a night together. They planned it so that they could accommodate my Friday weekend. I had not seen Kwee Chu since our last rendezvous to Air Keroh lake after MCE exams. I still have the photos. It's almost 30 years yet we just kept each other abreast with what is happening in our lives now. The camaraderie was still between us. Easy-going and accepting our marked differences. They are all Catholics. I am a Muslim. Nonetheless, it does not make us any different. We respect each other and they accommodated my habits such as food and prayer times. Neither does religion separate us and build a barrier between us that we find it difficult to talk to each other. It was easy maybe because I have an open attitude towards my religion. They asked, even the little child - I answered as well as I could within my knowledge.

Last I met up with Maureen was 5 years ago when she tracked me down in Alor Setar by asking every BATA shoe store about the manager whose wife is a teacher. It did not cross her mind that Noor might have changed his career. We spent that night talking about late Peter, her life in Australia and her application for permanent resident of Australia. So, when we met up last weekend, we just followed up where we left off.

I also got to meet up with Wong Chiew Lee and Furziah while waiting for them. Wong graciously spent some time picking me up from the jetty and sent me to the hotel. We spent some time updating each other after 8 years. Furziah came later after tennis training. Both of them, although busy with their schedule, happily spent some time keeping me company while waiting for the others' arrival.Thank you, Allah. Alhamdulillah. For arranging my schedule such that I managed to meet up with those who are meaningful in my life. Thank you, ya Allah, for a husband and life partner who understands my need for time out with my friends. For letting me go and have some girls' time out. SubhanAllah. Alhamdulillah.