Farewell fariq426@gmail

Well, I created that account in 2008 when En. Jusni, the Head of Department of ICT at IPDA told us to create a blog so that we could start writing. It was an interesting way of replacing a diary. I enjoyed it and kept at it or blogging which is the correct term. I wrote about anything that matters to me. Not daily but anything, any time. I wrote about my sons finally soaring and flying away from home. About letting go of them. I wrote about my surgery which I prayed and hoped nobody who matters to me had to go through it. I wrote about Bapak. Now, it's all gone into the labyrinths of the virtual world. I had done something to my account that Google had blocked my e-mail account and my blog. Gone too are the personal friends' letters who matter a lot to me. Oh well, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. It's like burning an old diary.

Why fariq? What is so significant about this name? Even my sons asked. My friends queried because it was not related at all to my name or my husband's or any of my sons. Fariq was a name created when I was in Form 4. Hence the numbers 426. Form Four to Form 6. Well, being in an all girls' school, we created nicknames from boy's names. I had never met a Fariq. I liked it because one of my closest friend's name started with F. Fauziah binti Tumin. I've lost track of her since she got married and MUI Bank became redundant. And I had always liked the letter Q. All these years as a teacher, I have yet to meet a Fariq. There was a Tariq. But no Fariq whether in Johor, Kelantan, Kuala Lumpur or Kedah. We used to give nick names to anybody and everybody. When Sue and I were in GPMS class, there was a Mr. Ireet, as in irritating; a Pinky from "The Brighton Rock" our literature book in Form Four, a Willie which was from the character "Little House on the Prairie"; si Tu Ha...this is so that when we were talking about these people, nobody knew whom we were referring to! :-D

Besides, my name is so common when I wanted to create an ID for my e-mail. Thus I combined the elusive name and my name given by my father. Hani. Only my family calls me Hani. My husband. Even my in-laws call me Siti. I do not want anybody to use Hani unless you have been a part of my life or my heart. Only another man used to call me Hani but he is now only a friend. A long lost friend whom I found again. Now it's Siraz as in Siti Rohani Aziz and 171 - the plate number of the red car which I used for almost 15 years. Now it's me, my name and I.

What's in a name one may ask? To me...everything because Mak and Bapak called me Hani so it was special to me.

At a wakaf near masjid Pantai Irama, Bachok, Kelantan. (June,2011)