Arafah and Mina ... 2026H

This morning IKIM.fm radio brought live coverage report of the wukuf in Arafah, the peak of the Haj ritual. About 28,000 pilgrims from Malaysia were there at present. My heart went out to them and I could imagine what they were going through now. They were having a tazkirah Subuh. We had one by Uztaz Wan Sohor Lebai Leman, who was our uztaz pembimbing. The tears fell freely and the feelings of remorse were intense. All the sins that were committed flashed before your eyes and mind and all you could do was prayed for the compassion of Allah to forgive and accept you. The skies of forgiveness were opened today. So, today, we fasted to commemorate the day of wukuf in Arafah.

What did I remembered of Arafah besides the feelings of remorse and regrets? Arafah is just a vast, empty desert about 20 - 30 minutes drive from Mecca on normal days. However, on the day of wukuf, it was dotted with thousands of tents, erected temporarily for the duration of that one day - from dawn to dusk. I remembered most were the chickens near the ladies' toilets. They were totally white in colour except for their beaks and feet. No wonder the eggs in Mecca were all-white in colour. At first we thought it was salted eggs as in Malaysia - but the guides rectified our mistake. Other than that ... everybody was absorbed in their own selves. Contemplating. Reflecting. Regretting.

Arafah - before the erecting of tents for the "wukuf" with Jabal Rahmah in the background

The thousands of tents for the "wukuf"

 If Arafah was a land of thousands of dotted tents and millions of people in practically every single space and corner, especially up Mount Rahmah ... then Mina was a carnival. It was more cheerful and alive. We were here for 3 days for the "stoning of the devil" ritual. Noor and I wandered around the jamrah or throwing area a lot. Firstly to look for more pebbles or small stones. This was where we encountered a lot of kindness of human nature. While we were looking for and picking up the pebbles. a hand was shown towards us offering us the stones. We looked up to see unknown faces and accepted the stones with grace and gratitude. Thus, we returned the kindness shown to us by collecting extra stones to be given to others whom we came across picking up stones. Simple gestures of kindness. Rich in gratitude and thankfulness.

I enjoyed Mina in the sense that it was so metropolitan. Hundreds of small peddlars from all over the world just put out a piece of tablecloth and spread out their varieties of goods for sale. I liked the Turkish knitted shoes. But I did not buy any. Noor bargained and bought a Russian multi purpose knife. Since both did not speak a common language, they let the calculator spoke. Numbers were universal.  :-D  We saw a lot of things. Once we saw a man selling gems, so since Noor liked gems, I sat down and started talking to him. He was a man from India and spoke English. So, as usual, out of curiosity, I started talking to him about him and his journeys instead of his goods. He made this journey every year not only to sell his wares but also to make friends, meet friends, perform his Haj and make some business. He travelled through the roads and water to reach here. It's a month's journey. He usually made enough money for his travel home.

The 3 jamrahs - now it is the shape of a ship / oblong to make more space for the pilgrims

I observed a lot of people's behaviour and mannerisms. Their haste, impatience and selfishness in waiting in line, pushing others to get out of their way and getting what they wanted by hook or by crook. I observed patience, resilience and faith of other pilgrims waiting on their mats and chairs for the next day throwing of the jamrah. It was a long trail back to their camps so they would rather wait the night for the next morning's throw. Most of them were pilgrims above 60 with their caretakers or family. They waited with patience and did not grumble but accepting. Very calming. I observed over-protectiveness of their female pilgrims by the Iranian males. They formed a human circle around their female counterparts and other pilgrims were pushed out to make way for their circle. They refused to break the circle. Either you are ploughed through or you made way for them. I observed overzealousness of the throwing rituals. As I stood at one corner and waited for Noor and Pak Wan, a member pilgrim, I observed that here each was on their own. Actually, I enjoyed observing people and their idiosyncracies while trying to figure out the lessons that I should derive from these incidents.

As I listened to the radio's live coverage of the "khutbah Arafah" my tears rolled down softly and gently ... recalling the time I was there and listened to it. I could only pray that the pilgrims there did their best for their belief and faith and for the sake of Allah. May they become a better person because of this journey of a life time. I know I have tried and will continue trying. Life is not ours but to live it as best as we can for Allah's acceptance of us. If Allah is with us, in us, for us... life is complete and fulfilling. Nothing else matters.

Character Test

A friend forwarded a "character test" quiz. It was based on your preferences of fragrances including body smell. It was quite interesting. I did it, as truthfully as I could, and this was what I got :-

You are the grass fragrance type :-

"You have very strong will, not dependent on others and gives an impression of a lone ranger. You are extremely curious and sensual, living a clear headed, modern life. At first glance, you place yourself on a pedestal and are difficult to get along. But once others talk to you, they know you are easy going and when relationship develops, they realize you are affable. You have an androgynous charm, which makes you popular with all genders. You don't like your weak side to seen. You may look cool on the surface, but beneath it all, you are really passionate. Only people who knows your true self can maintain a long lasting relationship with you."

Let us try to analyze this as closest to what I know of myself. Most often than not, it is those close to us who can see the true side of us. Well...

1. Very strong will - am I? Maybe in certain circumstances. Mostly I think I am more laidback and complacent. I just go with the flow but time and again, this characteristic shows itself through when I am facing certain situations or predicaments in my life. So, it is partly correct.  :-p)   

2. I agree totally with not dependent on others as proven after my father passed away. A lone ranger - definite YES!

3. Extremely curious - hmmmm .... not really. Most of the time, I am very ignorant of what is going on. Maybe I am afraid I might turn out like "curiosity kills the cat" but as the boys said - a cat has nine lives thus it never dies actually. :-DD  

4. I think difficult to get along - maybe. Those who meet me for the first time will be quite taken aback by my aloofness and standoffishness. I do not warm myself towards people easily. But now I realize that I am more approachable. I make the effort to be more welcoming and open. Maybe as you aged, you mellowed a little. I do not think I am difficult to get along. Ask those people who work with me. Colleagues or staff. I would like to think that I am quite easy to get along with and to work with. I may give the impression that I am quite particular, organised and knowledgeable, yet I am affable i.e. pleasant, friendly and easy going. I am sure some friends can be a testimony to this. :-)))

5. Whether I have any charm at all .... I think I get along well with both genders. I am sure it is not due to my "androgynous charm"...  more towards open-minded, accepting, non-judgemental, pleasant, courteous .... ha..ha.. now I am listing my positive side ....

6. I think everybody does not like their weak side to be seen. I know I do not like to trouble people. I try to cope with whatever is happening in my life myself. If I break down easily and cry at the slightest predicament, I think very few people have ever seen this side of me. If I am hurt, I just hide away for a while until I am ready to face friends and families again. Just like a hurt cat ... or an ostrich ... or just being the other side of me... ;-}}}

So, all in all, it does describe most of me. Not all of me but once in a while, it is good to analyze oneself. Just to keep ourselves in check.  The test comes in a power point and I do not know how to attach it here. Still learning .... ;-)

Memories of the Haj ....

It's that time of year again. Everyday now at IKIM.FM radio, there is a report on the haj in the evening. It brings back nostalgic memories, the feeling of being there is still fresh and you remember things there with such clarity. The pain in the heart when you remembered the first time you were in Masjid Nabawi. The feelings of being surrounded with such protectiveness and belonging. It was as if you came home. Maybe that was why when you read about this place, look at the pictures, hear about it, even when you touched the book on Rasulullah saw, you feel such a longing of being there that it caused a piercing pain in your heart. Your tears just flow with the pain. The kind of pain if you were in love with someone and missing him so much. How could I explain it? Maybe those who had gone through it would understand it. How come I do not feel this kind of feelings for any living humans?  :-)))  Maybe once, but not anymore.

The other day there was a report about the pilgrims arriving in Mecca. How nostalgic. The description of the bus ride, the moment they reached Masjidil Haram and the days they spent in Mecca. I was in Mecca for 37 days. Ikram asked us when we (Noor, Ikram, Syafiq and I) were on our way back to Alor Setar. They were brought down to KL/Melaka to welcome us home from our pilgrimage. So, on the drive home, Ikram asked what was the most significant memory there. Noor answered the usual - the umrah, haj, tawaf and so forth. I answered something that surprised him. The most significant and sweetest memory that I had of Mecca was not all the haj rituals. It was a day when Noor and I went out for a walk around Mecca after Zohor and bought KFC for lunch. I carried a sejadah whenever we went to the mosque because I always ended up at the rooftop. The marble tiles were freezing cold in the morning and night. The food stalls did not have tables and chairs. You bought the food and sat somewhere. We sat together on the sejadah at a flight of stairs and shared the KFC. It was very rare to see the two of us together in such close proximity. Most of the time we were on our own. That one day that Allah gave us to spend time together doing what was so normal for most couples but not for us was a blessing in itself.  :-} When the muezzin called us for 'Asar prayers, we walked together to the mosque and parted ways at the entrance. Noor went towards the Kaabah and I, as usual went up to the first floor.

This was the time when we make sacrifices of animals to commemorate the command for Nabi Ibrahim to sacrifice Nabi Ismail. I did not want to do the korban with Tabung Haji. Noor did. The uztaz explained that whatever we sacrificed, the meat would be kept in the frozen warehouse and the meat distributed all over the world throughout the year. I did not want that. I wanted my korban to be of some benefit to someone. I was hesitant and reluctant although Noor suggested that I did it with Tabung Haji. One day, I went to the Tabung Haji office at the hotel and saw a young man sitting at a makeshift counter there. I saw the notice "korban". I went up to him and had a talk with him. Being curious (besides he looked like a student) I asked him questions. He said he was a student from Madinah University. He accepted any korban from any pilgrims. Usually, they would buy the goats or camels or whatever animals, and did the sacrifice at their university. Then, they would cook it and all the Malaysian students there and from neighbouring universities would get to eat it. Most of the students from other countries would join them too on Hari Raya Aidil Adha. I asked him where he was from. He told me he was from Penang and that his father was a lecturer at USM. That got me interested. I asked him from which school was his father attached to. He said School of Humanities. I was nicely surprised as that was my school too. When he mentioned his father's name, of course all of us knew him. I met him a few times during our Dean's List award where all the lecturers came to witness it. His father was the Vice Dean of Islamic Studies and used to be our imam for terawih prayers at the USM mosque. I was honoured to have met his son who carried his good name. I decided there and then to do my korban with him. Maybe it was Allah's way of arranging things for me. I did one for myself. One for Bapak. One for Mak. And one for Hafsah. I was very happy and satisfied with myself. Thus, when I returned to Malaysia, I tried as far as possible to make one korban every year. One for me and one for Mak and Bapak.

Listening to all these reports made you travelled back in time to a time when you left everything behind and putting all the past behind  you. You tried to be a better person for having been here at this holy place. I prayed that all these pilgrims had a smooth time performing all their rituals. I prayed that they would get their haji Mabrur. I had done my best. I gave my best. I surrendered myself totally to Allah. Even if I never reach this place again, I am contented. May I become a better person for having been invited here by the grace and decree of Allah. InsyaAllah.

Walking around Masjid Nabawi in the chillness of the night - 2005

The view of Masjidil Haram from the bridges - 2005