Kak Elly was diagnosed with diabetes since she was 9 years old. She was insulin diabetic in her teens. Her eyesight was slowly affected and over the years partially blind. She had reached the stage where when the sugar level was uncontrollable, she would go berserk and lose control of her mind and her senses. She needed full time care. Full time supervision. Medical treatment and hospitalisation. Sometimes when Lartipah came to school, she looked worn-out and drained of energy. Yet, she could still smile and she was ..ohh... so accepting and patient. Sometimes, when she needed a sounding board, she would come to my room. If there was nobody else, she would let her heart out. Her frustrations. Her disappointments. Her hopes. Her worries.... I listened. I gave my opinion. I scolded her if necessary for being too worried of her children. Most of all, I just listened because she trusted me enough not to spread her stories around. I am honoured.
Kak Elly was in a coma earlier this year and was in ICU for a couple of weeks in ICU. She managed to come out of it but I guess that started the deterioration of her health. Husband and wife took turns to take care of her. The hospital was a second home for all of them since she was in and out so often since young. Sometimes Lartipah lamented that Kak Elly had started to hate hospitals. She was usually put up in the children's ward for supervision and actually, less depressing as there many other children to entertain her.
Lartipah was a motivated, religious person. She turned to her faith for strength and patience. I respected her for that. At least she has strong support from her husband and children. The others are already working and the youngest. the only son, will soon further his studies in November. What Allah tested with one child, He gave other virtues to the rest of the children. Kak Ngah is a teacher, married with a child. Kak Chik is an engineer with Petronas. Kak Su is a journalist with Bernama. And the youngest is still studying. Sometimes, I think she worries too much. Maybe after years of worrying, she just cannot get rid of this habit. I become her sounding board and I "sounded" her off. She is stressed out most of the time due to unnecessary worrying.
Lartipah was in school when she got a phone call from her husband that Kak Elly was not well. She rushed home to find that Kak Elly had passed away in her father's arms. Her husband had opted for early retirement to take care of Kak Elly and his mother. Even though Lartipah had also applied to opt out and was approved, she deferred it and her husband instead, made the option. I got the call from another staff about Kak Elly's passing. By the time I was free to pay my respects to Kak Elly, it was almost 2:00pm. I was involved with the oral SPM coordination at another school. We talked for a while as there were fewer visitors.
Lartipah told me about Kak Elly's last birthday - during the fasting month. She wanted to give everybody a grand treat with her own money. She called up her aunties, uncles, cousins and relatives and had a grand birthday party. She bought something for everybody and they had a happy, gala time. Nobody realised that it would be the last. Lartipah put up Kak Elly's bed in her room after the coma so that they could monitor her easily. Lartipah was very calm and collected. I guess her calm demeanour hid the grief and pain of the loss. I would not say it was sudden as they had gone through so much all these years of looking after her. She always managed to pull through and came home. This time, Allah, wanted her to be with Him.
Lartipah came back to school a week later. I just looked at her and did not ask the prerequisite questions as I would just get the cliche, robotic answers. She will talk about it when the time and place are right. For now, I shall just respect her silence.
Yet, I can feel her pain. I cannot imagine losing a child. I honestly do not know how I would react in this situation. Although she had the privilege that Allah had given her many years to take care of Kak Elly. I could not imagine what a mother had to go through if it was caused by an accident or hideous incidents. When I read about children whose death was so unacceptable and inhumane, I could just cry and feel for those mothers. All I can do is say a prayer so that they will have the strength and patience to face it.
For Lartipah, Kak Su, her 4th daughter had resigned and returned to Alor Setar to take care of her mother. Just to be there. She will continue to further her studies part-time. Since Lartipah suffered a minor stroke, her health is also not in stable condition. When she told me about Kak Su's decision, I just looked at her and told her I understood and I knew the reasons why.
For Kak Elly, may your soul rest in peace. As your mother said - you were a good child, You never complained nor demanded for anything. Your mother is in very good hands. Most of all, she has Allah.
Al-fatihah.
No comments:
Post a Comment