Finally, I bid adieu ...

It is the final week of school for the year 2015. It also marks my countdown to my professional retirement from any teaching duties. I have psyche myself not to feel anything or get emotionally involve with anybody ... staff or students. Let me write out my final days ...

Day 1 (15 Nov 2015)  -  its work as usual. Getting the PAJSK and SEGAK forms printed out and photostated for my class students who wanted to fill in their application forms to further their studies in Form Four to Technical schools, MRSM, Vocational schools or elsewhere. With the slow internet service at this area, it was like doing a snail marathon. Finally got it done while doing relief duty at the same time. By the time, I completed this task, it was already past noon. Besides that, the co-ordinator for the PT3 English paper came for co-ordination and so far, there were no hitches regarding the marks we had given.

                                       I personally distributed the special souvenir that I had done for all the staff with the help of Wah and Ikram. It was not anticipated and they were pleasantly surprised that I am the one who was giving instead of receiving. It was just a small token of remembrance but they loved it and marvelled at its uniqueness. Some of them proclaimed that it was too special to even open the plastic covering while others wanted to put it their Quran and special books. Alhamdulillah ... I made so many people happy today. The special gifts for the special people in this school (4 only) was accepted with so much grace and appreciation. They were touched and especially Fauzi ... counting the days left to spend with me....

Each bookmark is personally hand-crocheted by Wah, ironed, starched and dried in the hot sun while the personalised name cards were cdesigned by Ikram. We added the RIP for humour effect ... ;-0))

Day  2 (16 Nov 2015)  -  I had 5 periods of relief duty as some teachers had gone off for invigilation duties for SPM and STPM exams. I had the Form Ones. As I looked at them, I was thinking how innocent and young they were. Still high in enthusiasm for friends, school and teachers. Just the other day I was passing a comment to Noor - sometimes I wished that children did not grow up. Kittens did not turn into cats. What was young remained young .... Then I looked at my Form Threes .... by this time next year they would have gone through the sixteenth birthday ... older, mature and turning into a young adult.
                                       Today I had to complete the mark sheet for the PT3 English papers. Khoo assisted me in keying the marks and I submitted all the answer scripts. Finally, it was out of my hands. Final duty done as best as I could. I also had the personal files of my class completed and submitted to the exam unit of the school.

Day 3  (17 Nov 2015)  -  Today I was not given any relief duty. Alhamdulillah. Thus, to take advantage of an unbelievable free day, I watched a movie that I had wanted to watch again for some time. "Dead Poets' Society". A fitting ending to my profession as it made me reflect how far a teacher's influence in the young lives of the students. I will do a write up just to share.

                                        One of the counsellors gave me a farewell present as she had known me for almost 10 years. I honestly did not like nor wanted anything from them. I would prefer to be the giver as it made me so satisfied to make others happy. Some students came to give me their personal gifts to say thank you. ... It was a frame of photos of us together during the farewell party at KFC.  I was so touched and I hated it as it would make me cry ....

Day 4  (18 Nov 2015)  -  Only Allah knows what was in our hearts...or in this case, Fauzi's. Last Sunday when I gave him my farewell gift which was a book "Falsafah Hidup" by Hamka ...  He was commenting that we would not meet up like this anymore. He said on Wednesday i.e. today ... he wanted to take me for a final walkabout around the school. Thursday he would be gone for invigilation.

I wrote what I felt from the heart ... how can I express  what 25 years of friendship mean to me???

                              This morning, I asked Fauzi if he would accompany me and three students followed to pay our respects to Raihan's ( 3C1 student ) father who passed away last night. Fauzi insisted on taking me out for breakfast. Then, when we reached school, he took me for a nostalgic walkabout around the school. He recollected memories of our days together for the last 25 years when I first came, stopping by the Co-op, dropped by some classes and finally ending up at the staff room where they had prepared a small party for those leaving the school - one on transfer and the other to follow her husband to Papua New Guinea. The attention from Fauzi continued with serving me drinks and whatever I wanted. I spent a couple of hours with the staff as I seldom sat in the staff room. Hmmm ... what a sweet, nostalgic day for me ... Alhamdulillah ... I hope he would not miss me much .....

                                     I opened a farewell gift from Ayu and I was speechless .... she had given me an expensive gift which was beyond my expectation .... I assumed it was something simple and practical ... I was so touched and dismayed that she had spent so much money for me. One of the staff who saw it said she valued my friendship so much .... I could just heave a long, heavy sigh .... I hope and pray that nobody will give me anything as I do not need material or physical memories ....

Final Day  (19 Nov 2015 )  -  The day started with reciting surah Yaasin and taking attendance of the students who still came to school. The PK requested I gave a farewell speech to the students but I vehemently declined. After that, it was work as usual. Tying up loose ends and making sure I completed and submitted everything required of me. I had closed the register. I had signed and handed my record book, my personal file, the check-list form, the SAL room key .... I guessed that's about it. Today, the school cafe gave me a treat and I did not pay for my food. ALhamdulillah.

                                        Today I sat in my old room - the Exam Unit as I had already handed my key to the SAL room to the GK. Milah came and gave me farewell gift although I did not want it. I am not very good at etiquette. I know I should just accept it gracefully and expressed my appreciation. Hmmm .... I was wondering why the big fuss about my retirement  ..... so many others had retired ...
A quiet day of settling what should be settled, said my goodbyes and leave the place where I had given, dedicated and committed 25 years of my life here ....

                                      As Rafiki in "The Lion King" said - "It is Time." Well, it is time to move on and face my new phase in life. A full-time housewife. I wonder if Noor is ready for this .... hahahaha .... ;-))) .... seeing his wife at home all the time instead of rushing to school early in the morning, the many outstation meetings and briefings, the times when I was so busy that we only talked during weekends ..... well, time to slow down and take one day at a time ..... in shaa Allah.

                                        Thus, at 2:10pm, I went to the office to punch my card to log out for the day. Amidst so many friends and staff, I punched my card. I had gone to see each and everyone to bid adieu and seek forgiveness so that I leave in peace. Once, I am out of the school gate, my commitment as a teacher is redundant. I took a long look around the school before I got into my car and purposely took the long route home to let the scenery of the padi fields soothe my mix feelings of leaving ... This is a favourite quote of mine since I love "Little House on the Prairie" ....

No tears were shed when I was saying goodbye - only smiles and laughter ... happy for myself ... a new phase of life awaits ...