Amy's Wedding

Simple and sweet. Amy is my younger sister's elder daughter. She has two girls. Beautiful. Outgoing. Confident. Smart. Thus she made a beautiful, radiant and happy bride. The wedding was like the card. Simple yet with under stated elegance. Alhamdulillah. Everything went well. From the solemnisation ceremony. The wedding reception on both sides of the couple. The weather was kind and it did not rain although slightly cloudy towards the evening. The food was nice and personally, everybody had a good time. Since she had the caterers took care of everything, we did not have much to do except helped out in welcoming and ushering guests. The last wedding was Ain's (another sister's daughter) which was back in 2008. Akmal came back all the way from Sabah as he was the official photographer and Amy's best cousin. Thus, I wish both much happiness, compassion, patience and tolerance in leading a life full of ups and downs together. Whatever happens along the way, just remember this day. The day it binds you as husband and wife. For better or worse ... ;-))

The gifts (hantaran) for the groom 

Some of the trays of five gifts for the bride

The beautiful wedding dais (pelamin) fit for the couple 

The gifts to be given away to guests

The rows of bottles containing peanut cookies for guests

The kittie cookies for children ... yummmy

Thus, the inevitable question - when will it be the boys turn??? Hmmm ... when it is time.. ;-))

What A Year ... 12 NOVEMBER 2016

Another year. It's been five years since I maintain this blog with my ramblings, incidents, events, thoughts, perceptions, observations, opinions ... and sharing whatever passes my mind and things I have done or gone through. As of today, I have 35,345 reviewers who had visited and read my postings. Thank you everyone. I hope all of you have enjoyed reading them and maybe be inspired, motivated or lifted up your spirits ... make you smile, cry, reminisce, reflect or just something worth your while when you pass through my blog.

It is so cliche to say "How fast the year has gone!" but it really has. For me, anyway. It is almost a year of my retirement. I thought I would retire in peace (RIP) but Allah has other plans for me. So many well-meaning folks have asked what am I going to do to fill my time ... I honestly have no plans at all. As my sons used to say - "just go with the flow." There are busy times and there are times when I really have to think hard to have something to do. More often than not, Allah has already laid his plans for me. Most times I just accept and go with it.

11 months into retirement. What have I accomplished? After all that have happened, the most significant thing that happened to me is cultivating patience. Tolerating waiting. Endurance. Acceptance.

I am involved with a group of seven young ladies who formed "GOODDEEDS" albeit inactively. A small organisation which started their simple charity work directly in contact with youngsters - under privileged primary school students in our district. They started free tuition for about eighteen slow and underachievers Year Six students at a sub-urban school. Sometimes they asked for suggestions on how to handle kids and lessons. They started "mealsforschool" to provide lunch for thirty selected students so they could stay for extra classes with a "happy" tummy. They also provided "food box" project for eight deserving families with basic necessity food items to enlighten those families' burden. Before the school ends for this year, they are already starting their "School Aid" programme by providing school uniforms, shoes, stationery and school bags for fifty-four selected students. I am very honoured to be involved directly with one of the co-founders and I like their way of approaching direct contact with the schools concerned. I am still indirectly involved with education and  making students' lives a little easier. It is fulfilling and very satisfying. Donations of cash and kind are very much welcomed to finance the various projects that they have planned. Just refer to "Gooddeeds Malaysia" facebook for more information.

Besides that, I dedicated more time for my Creator. Taking things slow and making time for everything - friends and families. Spending more time with my partner by accompanying him to almost everywhere whether it is business or leisure. Making time for my sons ... although they are old enough to drift away from me, we have discovered a closer bond together. Even though we enjoyed a close relationship as mother and sons, now that I am not working , we created more time out together whenever they came home or I was visiting them. Especially with Syafiq's accident and Akmal's problems which pulled us closer as a family instead of pushing us apart and what all of us were willing to do and face whatever came our way as one. Alhamdulillah.

I am honoured and privileged that past students contacted me and wanted to forge the teacher-student relationship again. To be appreciated is such an uplifting morale. Students from the past and present still wanted to keep in touch and asked for advise, opinions and motivation. I am very touched.

I am truly blessed. Whatever trials and tests that come my way are always given ease and help from unexpected quarters. There are always helping hands, ears, words, love and advise to put me back on the right path. SubhanAllah. I feel like I have been given so much for so few trials. I feel that I have so much that the more I give, the more I receive from Allah. I can only recite again and again - "which favours of Allah do you deny"?

Honda (car company) sent me a sweet birthday card. The wish was so meaningful ...

No, I shall not write what I wish for but I do wish it will come true because I truly deserve it. Hahahah ... :-))  May I have a peaceful, calm, adventurous, meaningful and blessed year ahead.
In shaa Allah. Have a lovely day on my behalf .... ;-(0)

 And I hope I will still continue to learn ... life is after all a journey of educating oneself ...

Inspiring, Uplifting And Humbling ....

1st Story ... Inspiring

She was only fourteen years old. Average sized, sweet with shoulder length hair tied in a pony tail. She had her backpack with her at all times. It was 4am at the emergency ward at Serdang Hospital. I smiled and sat beside her at the corridor. I was curious as to what she was doing here and who was in the emergency ward. She was quite hesitant and reluctant to tell her story at first. I just smiled and waited to kill time and finally, her whole story came out.

She was here to accompany her mother. Her mother was having difficulty breathing and her brothers brought her here. When I was in the ward, I saw her with a woman on one of the beds. Her mother was a diabetic patient who had both her legs amputated. She had to go dialysis weekly. She said she was in Form two. I could not recall her school's name or where she was from. But she was from somewhere around here. Her father was at a drug rehabilitation centre. She had three older brothers and she was the youngest. Her eldest brother was in his final year at ALAM (Akademi Laut Melaka), Malacca. Her second and third brother opted to work to support their eldest brother and family. I held her brothers in high regard for shouldering the responsibility that should had been their father's. She did not go to school if she had to look after her mother. Her mother had been in and out of hospitals since she was twelve years old. She was so used to hospitals unlike me. She was so accepting and making the best of the situation. Not blaming her father or her life. Never once did I heard of her grumbling or grousing her dissatisfaction or discomfort of being here. I honestly did not know what her future held for her but in the hands of her brothers, she would be alright. In shaa Allah.

2nd Story ... Uplifting

When we were warded for a few hours in the four-bedded second class ward 6 at Selayang Hospital, I got to meet this young man in his thirties. His bed was next to Syafiq. Thus, to while the time waiting for a vacant room in the first class, he and I got talking. Of course the story would be about his reason for being in this ward. He was a very friendly and cheerful guy but little did one realised what pain he had to suffer.

He said he was waiting for his turn to x-ray his left leg. It was already four days. He worked at a futsal court. His right knee had been installed with screws a few years back due to an accident. He said one of the screws had already loosened due to his most recent accident. He had a misstep at the Komuter station and fell. When he could not get up, they called the ambulance. That was how he landed up here in this ward. He was also diabetic and had to undergo dialysis twice weekly. Yet, he was so positive about life. He still played futsal although his health constrained him. He was still single and lived with his mother. His cheerfulness helped Syafiq and I to be more positive when we were actually feeling so low about being warded. The worries and fears of the unknown injury in Syafiq's shoulder was the unvoiced fear. Here, Allah met us up with this guy to get some strength and hope. SubhanAllah.

3rd Story ... Humbling

While waiting for Syafiq's turn to be x-rayed at the orthopedic unit, I met up with this lady sitting on a chair near me. I smiled at her and asked the boy next to her as to why he was not in school. She smiled at me and started her story. I guessed hospitals were lonely places where one could get very down and depressed with the sick all around us.

She said her daughter, the boy's mother, (there were another two of his siblings), was in the ward near the x-ray unit. She was already in stage three tongue cancer. That was why the doctor allowed her children and mother stayed the night at the wards. Hospitals ruling was only one family member preferably female to accompany patients at night. Her daughter started by suffering from mouth ulcer. It was too often and when it became unbearable, she went to the clinic which did a swab of her tongue and sent it for a biopsy test. It tested positive for tongue cancer which was already at stage three. She underwent chemotherapy for almost two years. The doctors had to amputate her tongue as the cancer had spread to her throat and lungs. At the same time she started chemo treatment, she was pregnant with her fourth child. She gave birth via cesarean to a baby girl which now lived with this lady, her grandmother. The baby was already a year old. This lady came all the way from Bentong, Pahang to be with her daughter as the doctors said she was in a serious situation. Since the family lived in Kuala Selangor, it was not practical to go home and come back again. Anything could happen. Her daughter's husband was with her when this lady was telling her story. She was so accepting and was prepared to face whatever eventuality.

People meet for a reason. It is not coincidence that we meet up with these people. It is already pre-ordained by Allah. At a time when I am at an all time low, these people lift my spirits, give me hope and strength with their stories and how they cope with their mishaps, make me feel so grateful for the little mercies of Allah to ease my own trials. I look at Syafiq and I keep repeating "Alhamdulillah" for still keeping Syafiq safe and in one piece for me. What we are facing is so trivial compare to all the stories that I have heard while I was in the hospital.

These are only three of the stories that I want to share with all of you. While in the hospital I have learned to be a good listener. Most of these caregivers just want to pour out their worries and fears. All they need is someone who have the time to listen to them. I do not know how to offer words of comfort but I suppose, like me, being able to share, is the biggest comfort of all. I hope these stories will be able to uplift and give strength to whoever is facing his own tests and trials. Do offer a prayer for all those patients and especially for the caregivers.  

Which Grace of Allah Do You Deny???

Surgery was scheduled for Tuesday - 4th October 2016 or 2nd Muharram 1438H. We were advised to be admitted two days earlier to prepare Syafiq for the surgery. He would need the time to prepare himself mentally, emotionally and physically for it. On Monday, although it was a public holiday for Ma'al Hijrah, the doctors came one by one to brief him on what was going to happen. They were very clear and direct, showing pictures via their handphones. The anaesthetist came and explain the procedure to give him a general anaesthesia. Then, the surgeon who was going to perform the surgery came and explained where he was to make the incision, how long and how many screws would go into the plate on his glenoid. After that was a visit from the sports doctor who would be in charge of his post-surgery and rehabilitation process. It was quite overwhelming. No wonder we were advised to admit two days earlier than the scheduled surgery. A day just to rest and relax. The day before was just a lot of preparations. Later, a young doctor came to mark the site for the surgery area. It sounded like marking a tree for felling .....

That night he was told to have his last meal at midnight. He was scheduled to be the first patient for the orthopedic team. I was relieved to hear that as the waiting for the surgery would be faster i.e. as soon as you woke up. I sent out sms to all my siblings to allow us some privacy to prepare Syafiq emotionally and psychologically. We performed our Maghrib prayers, 'solat hajat' and recited the "surah Yaasin" led by Noor in the privacy of our hospital room. Just the three of us asking for the strength and patience to face this daunting trial graced by Allah. I asked for the prayers of those dear and close to us.

At 5:30am, the nurse sent the surgery uniform. We prepared Syafiq with lots of support and love. He was afraid of the unknown yet he was calm and accepting about it. I kept my cool and just told him to just get on with it. Only Allay knew what a turmoil my insides were. But the doctors were very reassuring and the nurses and staff were very compassionate and patient. I felt total heartfelt appreciation and gratitude for their understanding. It was a first time for us as parents. The fear, the anxiety, the gamut of mixed feelings all in one.

I used to wish I had a little girl to tie ribbons .... and I got to tie ribbons on Syafiq's surgery clothes .. ;-}

Following the nurse pushing Syafiq to the operation theatre  .. . I went alone

I kissed him on his forehead and let him go into the operation theatre, leaving him in the hands of Allah swt

I went back to the room and waited with Noor. The waiting was calm and I spent it reciting my Quran, prayers and walking up and down the corridor outside the wards. I sent him at 6:53am. We finally received news that he was ready to be back into the room. I followed the nurse again to the operation theatre and was just glad to see him conscious. It was 1:50pm. It was almost seven hours.
I wished I could take his pain away. I detached myself from whatever turmoil was churning in my heart and mind. I smiled at him and kissed his forehead. The biggest hurdle was over.

Looks could be so deceiving - that bandage covered eleven stitches where they made an incision to put in the titanium plate with four screws to tighten the glenoid / shoulder socket

I marvelled at this son of mine. His positive attitude. His easy going ways. His acceptance. His aunties from near and far made the journey to see him. My sisters from Malacca and Cameron Highlands came. This is one favourite nephew. I was just glad it was over. Syafiq was just glad his mum was around. Everything would be all right by the grace of Allah. Noor took leave regardless of being approved or not for the two weeks we were in and out of hospital. I could just heave a long sigh of gratitude and thanks to Allah for being compassionate and merciful by easing everything for us. Now the long road to recovery and rehabilitaion.

Thus, which grace of Allah do you deny ???? (Ar-Rahman)

Salam Maal Hijrah 1438H

Alhamdulillah for another year by the grace of Allah. We start the new year at the hospital. Syafiq is admitted today instead of tomorrow upon the advice from Noor's cousin nephew. A challenging start to the new year. A trial for the whole family but we still manage to keep calm and accept it. Since Syafiq is so accepting of it and never complain or bitter about the accident, helps all of us to remain a semblance of sanity. We are not angry with the van driver neither do we try to locate him to file charges or bear the cost of the treatment. When Noor filed the police report, we were informed that the van driver had already filed his. We shall face it when the time comes. Now we have more pressing issues. And it is only the first day of 1438H.

I ask Allah for so little yet He bestows us with so much. Maybe to reward us for our acceptance and patience. How could we not be so grateful for the ease He has graced us with to handle this mishap? I am so thankful for the strength given to Syafiq and the easiness of him bearing his injury. It is me, the mother that keeps praying for myself to be strong. So many times, in the silence and peacefulness of the night, only He witnessed my worries, tears and fears. Only He can ease the pain I feel each time I watch Syafiq grimaces with pain. He tries to make light of it as he knows how worried I will be. In his hour of being tested, he still has me in mind. SubhanAllah for such a thoughtful son .... all I can say is "Alhamdulillah" - Praise to Allah.

An old friend wished me a better and meaningful year. I wish to wish everybody a year full of blessings and love, compassion and kindness, gratitude and thankfulness, peace and harmony ..... where any trials and tribulations are faced with patience, tolerance and resilience. In Allah we lay our lives as whatever He has planned for us is much more perfect than what we can plan for ourselves. Have a blessed and gentle year .... in shaa Allah.