Thursday, 20th Sept. I was at SMK Sultan Abdul Halim school in Jitra for a sharing workshop on the final leap in English for PMR with 60 other teachers from the 5 districts of Kedah. I met Farizat again after the USM convo which was like...7 years ago! She looked just the same. We caught up with each other while having our break and I gave her my address for her son's wedding invitation card in December. That was nice. The workshop was enlightening and I managed to get a few more tips for my talk for my students next Wednesday. Well...we do all that we could even though PMR is only 2 weeks away, who knows? Last minute talk sometimes stick into their minds! The best part was the workshop ended at 3:30pm instead of 4:30pm. I took a leisurely drive home from Jitra - which took me about 35 minutes. I planned to go for my walk as I had been sitting down for 7 hours!!!
When I reached the park about 5pm, the skies were very dark. There were very few cars and walkers. I stood outside the car and breathed in the cold, refreshing air. Strong winds were blowing. Thus, I did not think it would be wise to continue my walk. People might think I was crazy to walk in the rain. So, I kept my sneakers and started driving towards town. I needed to settle the internet bill.
When I reached town, which was only 10 minutes away, the wind was very strong and the clouds were heavier. It rained heavily when I was already in the complex. Alhamdulillah. I quickly walked to the P1 kiosk and enquired why the internet was suspended. I brought my receipt. I am very particular about my bills. A different young woman was in charge. So, I sat down and she called her boss who was in charge the day I paid the bill. As we were waiting for the calls or whatever they had to do, this young woman, Farihah, started talking about her life. I hardly know her and vice versa. There must be something about me that made her opened up and talked to me about her life. Maybe she just needed to let out. Slowly, she told me the story of her life without any encouragement or prompting from me! :-0
She is only 28 years old but she had lost both her parents, gone through 2 marriages, a divorce, an annulment, lost custody of her son, returned to her grandparents, found salvation through dreams, returned to the path of Allah, getting to know a businessman cum uztaz who happened to be her brother's friend .... all within the one hour I was there. As she talked, I gave opinions and advice (like the crisis centre - all I did was listened. Maybe talking to strangers helped to ease her troubled mind) She asked if I was an uztazah! I was honoured because this was the second time somebody asked and called me an uztazah! I didn't think I look like one with my T-shirt, running tracks and slippers. I introduced her and accepted her on my Facebook. Allah worked in mysterious ways. I honestly do not understand His actions today. It was meant and fated that both of us met today. It was decreed that I became someone that she prayed she would meet. Someone who would help her and guide her. :-o
Scary because I don't think I am the right person to do so. With my liberal and contemporary views on religion albeit guided and strictly followed the Sunnah, I know I am ill-equipped to guide her in the matters of religion. I myself needed guidance and always prayed for someone to help me, guide me and show me the way to get closer to Him. Did I give her the correct interpretation of what she had asked me? I was always afraid I might just said things without thinking. She asked questions that I was of no authority to answer. So, I could only give her my interpretations. Ya Allah, I am the one who thought that my problems are unsolvable ... You showed me someone who had faced so much trials and tests in such a young life. Yet, You showed her compassion and mercy by pulling her back to You. She had lost so much but she kept her spirit intact. Her tears fell silently and since we were in a public place, she controlled herself. I had no idea what I was doing there. All I could do was took a deep breath, istighfar and hoped I had done right.
I don't know what You had planned for me now. Maybe another way out of my problems yet to be taken care of. So that I do not think so much of myself. That my problem is so small and can be handled. I could only pray for guidance from You. I am forming a relationship with this young woman in Your name, ya Allah. Help me to help her. Guide me to guide her. Alhamdulillah kerana mengizinkan satu jalinan ukhuwah dan silaturrahim yang tidak di jangka dan di duga. Mungkin ini juga ujian untuk ku, tauhid ku, aqidah ku dan agama ku. Kami saling memerlukan dan hanya Engkau yang lebih Mengetahui. She came into my life without any planning or wanting. May both of us become enrich because of You. InsyaAllah. For now, she knows she has someone to turn to for support, guidance and encouragement. I broke the first rule of Women's Crisis Centre - never get personally and emotionally involve. Oh well .....
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