Akmal and I were having lunch after he picked me up from school today. We saw Fauzi, an old neighbour who had moved to another area. He joined us for a drink and he started to ask Akmal if he had any girlfriends. Akmal, being jovial and uncomfortable with such a direct question just smiled and said many girlfriends but nobody he seriously considered about. Then came the question that was directed to me - "Tak kirakan untuk dia ke?" What??? He said matchmaking. He said something about finding a girl of my choice for him. I just smiled at him and said Akmal was free to make whatever choice he wanted. Fauzi has 3 daughters. His wife was Akmal's primary school teacher. Well.... ;-})
During the trip down to KL to send off Syafiq, Akmal drove. Our topic of discussion was his current interest. He was wondering how could a relationship be so complicated. I asked him some direct questions and I got honest responses. I could only give my point of view as a female. Being so obliging, going out of his way to help anybody (especially the girls), being such a helpful and warm person - I could give many examples but that would be bragging of one's son - I would not be surprised if girls fell for him easily.
When he was home, he would help out with the chores. He would check out the washing machine if I had done any washing so he could hang the clothes to dry. Woke up early just to send me off to school. Took out the garbage on the days when it was collecting garbage day. Go to the shop to get things for me if I had forgotten them. Nothing was too troublesome for him. He was also quite generous even with his money. Or time. If any of the girls' families were visiting, he would willingly be the tourist guide and driver. Wouldn't a girl love that????
So, he decided that he wanted to take a break from this girl whom he felt was suffocating him. He felt trapped and he was not ready for any commitments. He just wanted to concentrate on his new job as a Research Assistant to his marine lecturer and pursue his masters degree. He took a deep breath and claimed that animals were easier to understand and got along with than girls....
I told him it did not matter to us who his choice will be. We do not care about race, colour, background but do consider religion. As long you are happy with her and feel that you cannot live without her...then you know she is the one for you. We will not push you nor get involve with your personal life. You are free to choose whomever you want to. Neither will we get involve and choose someone for you and make you feel oblige to accept out of filial piety.
So, back to the question above - why should I ? I gave a big smile to an obviously dissastisfied friend and neighbour. I was left wondering - do arranged marriages still happen? I suppose so for those who considered it is parental duty to find the best partner for their children. I trust the boys will make the best decision for themselves. InsyaAllah.
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