Alhamdulillah. I have been afflicted with aches and pain. I have been having health issues since I hit fifty. It is an age to remind us that our bodies, if not taken care of ... or whether we do take care of them ..., have started to show us their tear and wear. How much we abused them in our younger days. How we also take for granted that in the pursuit of career, family and self-interest, we never think twice how much the poor bodies can take.
I am sick. In a sense, it started with flu and fever. It had been such a long time since I had flu. I always took it as a sign that my body wanted to shut down and recuperate. It was time that Allah gave to slow down and rest. Time out for the body to replenish, renew and reenergize itself. I must had contracted it from my partner who had the cough and sniffles. When after three days of paracetamol did not do its magic and difficulty in breathing caused many sleepless nights and days, I took myself to the doctor. I guessed I was so used to take care of myself. The doctor said my lungs had been infected by the phlegm due to the coughing and if left on its own, it might develop into bronchitis. So, she suggested nebulizer to loosen the phlegm and four types of medicine. I really tried to avoid medicines if I could. Yet in this case, I took her advice.
I found it so comical that I had to undergo nebulizing because usually I only saw children who went through this. Ikram had to undergo this frequently when he was a a toddler due to his coughing. Anyway, I thought after this I would be able to sleep but I had to suffer another four days of difficulty breathing, coughing with phlegm and sleeplessness. I was so exhausted due to the coughing as it pulled at my lower ribs and back. It hurt and I could only cry to Allah.
Nevertheless, I did not let my health stopped me from doing my charity work. We had a call for one of the Gooddeeds students whose house was badly burnt in a fire due to short-circuit. They needed clothes and school uniforms. Alhamdulillah there was no casualty. At this moment, they were given a temporary transit house by the Welfare Department until they could get another place to stay. Fariza and I went to collect the clothes that friends had pledged to give and sent them to the transit house. After that, we went to visit the standard two student at her school and gave the cash donation to her teacher to be passed on to her mother later. By the time I reached home, I was exhausted.
Two days ago, we went to visit Gooddeeds "adopted" family with ten children. We started our pilot project of "empowering them with education" so they could break the poverty cycle. They were victims of the recent floods twice. Their water supply was cut off as they could not pay the bill. The husband did not get much work offers due to the rain. He was a grass cutter. To top it off, one of their twins, four years old, was warded due to lung infection. How could I complain of a little cough and lung infection? I was truly humbled. Although I was seriously not well, I still did my driver duty for Fariza and got a food box for the family. The good news was the three older kids whom we sent for tuition, showed a marked improvement in their studies and in their self-esteem. Alhamdulillah.
I know it gets worse before it gets better. Everyday it gets better. Syafiq reminded me when I felt like I just could not tolerate it anymore. I needed the reminder and the visits that I went to, made me felt so ungrateful and ashamed of myself. Just a little test and I felt on the losing end. When I could not breathe due to the coughing and phlegm, I tried to understand what my late mother and Hamid felt when they said they could not breathe. How Mak panicked and that made it worse. It hurt and it was frightening but I managed to calm myself to breathe slowly.
Being sick has its own blessings ...
It gets better everyday. In syaAllah. God willing.
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