Soul Mates

We are very lucky if we have that someone with whom we can be so comfortable and contented with. Someone who is regardless of age or gender, fulfills our selves. A soulmate.

Even though this special someone is only meant to stay in our hearts but not in our lives.

Take It Or Let It Go ....

I am still exploring the relationship issue. Fate. Coincidence. Sometimes out of the sheer hopelessness of the situation, all one can do is take a deep breath and chew on the quote above. "Que sera sera ... what will be, will be." Fate. Don't stress it. The week I was in KJ, there were a few discussion on "merisik, meminang, bertunang dan majlis perkahwinan" - the rigmarole of a cultural, traditional Malay wedding from my in-laws. I smiled and just listened in praying that everything will go well for them. Then, I reflect on my own sons .... whether I will have this opportunity to be part of this planning for them. I wish. I pray. I hope.

Besides these events last week, I also had a reflective contemplation of the what ifs' and I wish ... of a past relationship. How it might affect the present one. Whether to let go or to hang on and let it just be. Maybe whatever happened was a sign to slowly ease off and let the memories remain.

What if one is given a second chance? Would one take it? If one person answers in the affirmative while the other pauses and answers in the negative .... would there be more regrets and "what ifs' " ???

Should one then say - I wish I can turn back time - .... wishes do come true. Prayers are answered. Hopes do get fulfilled. But I believe only for the chosen and very special ones who really deserve them. For whatever circumstances. Thus, one can only smile and be happy in its own way. Appreciate what is. Contemplate on what was. Hope for what will be.

Actually, the quotes above are compiled because I love them and the way they seem to link to one another. The writings are just my reflection of them and maybe based on some experiences that I have gone through. Anyway, the quotes are contemplative in nature. Just read them and ponder on them when you have some quiet time of your own. Should one grab the second chance or smile and gently let it go .... ;-)) .....

A Heartfelt Musing ......

Do you ever wish it? Especially when you parted ways not due to an argument or misunderstanding but due to unforeseen circumstances? An incomplete puzzle to all the questions that kept spinning in your head? Or a discontent to the whys? A dissatisfaction to the what ifs?

Yet, when one meets up again after umpteen years, would not both of you have changed? Physically, emotionally, mentally .... feelings? Would the old feelings remain? What if the two of you have already have new partners? What is the point of the meeting of the person who once holds your heart when you know that nothing will come out of it? Is it worth it?

Do we really understand? When we really meet that same person - either fate or coincidence - especially when it evokes all the buried feelings and emotions, do we really understand the reason why?  Especially when each of us have a complete, stable and loving family - is it worth the risk of getting "involve" all over again? Even though most of the questions are answered, puzzles fall into place, the whys are explained .... do not we, as mere mortals, question the reasons behind the meeting? As the saying goes - be careful what you wish for .....

That is fate. What is written in the stars. Thus, do you believe in fate? Or is it just a coincidence? We believe that everything happens is as what has been decreed by the Almighty. Whatever we do, if it is meant to be, it WILL be. Hence, if we meet up then it is fated that we meet. But all the side effects - the old feelings and emotions - do that come with the package as well? Or is it a test to upset our already stable and secure life?

Thus, can we agree with the quote above? I personally think it is too good to be true. As mere humans, we will not upset the balance of the life we have created when we part ways. Yet, there are others who will seize the second chance thrown at them. Let caution goes to the wind .... do we dare? There is a saying that "some people are meant to be in our hearts but not in our lives ..."  

I wholeheartedly believe the quote above. At the end of the day, the question is if that person is really meant to be in your life? Or just in your heart? Only you have the answer. Fate or coincidence?  :-))

Fate or Coincidence ?

 Loh was doing her morning walk at the public park where I usually did mine. She was thinking about me. I turned up around the corner and all she could do was called out my name. She was pleasantly surprised that just as she was thinking about me, I turned up. She thanked God for granting her simple wish. She did not usually did her walk in the morning being a late riser. Yet that morning she wanted to. She met Silvan, a mutual friend, who told her that he met me doing my walk in the morning. She was very happy. Fate or coincidence?

I was driving down to KJ with Ikram. Kak Haj said she was not going to follow me this time around due to prior commitments. As we were driving along the highway, she called saying that she was in Kulim and whether I was going down to KJ the next day. I told her I was already on the highway approaching Bertam. She changed her mind and wanted to come along but could not decide as she did not plan to leave that day itself. I told her I would miss the Kulim exit but she said to take the Serdang/Bandar Baru exit. Thus, after we stopped for breakfast at Juru  R&R, Ikram and I decided to drop by Kulim and picked her up. It was an hour's out of our way. Coincidentally she was in Kulim instead of Cameron Highlands visiting her son. Coincidentally she called me before we were out of Penang. Coincidentally she called on that day. Fate or coincidence?

Noor's mother decided to hold a thanksgiving during one weekend last month. Noor had something o settle for his mother the next week. Then, without any prior arrangement or discussion, Wah called and asked if she could take a lift to Melaka and would I send her back on Sunday? Of course I agreed willingly. Noor could not understand why would I take the trouble to send her to KJ and back to Melaka the next day. Couldn't she just take the bus back on Sunday or extend her leave to Tuesday as we would be leaving Melaka on that day? All I could say was she's my sister and besides, I did not have much to do anyway. At least I had something to occupy my time while he was busy with his own agenda. Ikram was also free that weekend so he accompanied me up and down KL. Fate or coincidence?

 I am sure we have so many incidents that happen without our conscious planning or thinking about it. Fate or coincidence? Have we ever stopped to think about it?


 To quote an uztaz - "Tiada kebetulan dalam kehidupan
                                 Segala-galanya adalah ketentuan Allah."
(There are no coincidences in life. Everything has been fated and determined by God.)

Happily Ever After ... ;-0))

That's how fairy tales end. Happily ever after .... but at the end of the day, it is commitment. Kindness. Responsibility. These are what you get at the end of a marriage. Regardless of religion, the traditional wedding vow speaks for all ...

"... to have and to hold from this day forward,
  for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
  in sickness and in health,
  until death do us part..."

You may be so infatuated and in love but as years of marriage take its toll with children, career, finance, family, in-laws, siblings, relatives, friends .... every couple change. It is the cycle of life. It is how we adapt to the changes that makes a fulfilling marriage. Yet, most of us realise that, at the end of it, couples stay together even though love and passion are no longer there. There is contentment. Safety. Security. Commitment. Thus, we stay together because it is easier to do so. It beats loneliness. Although most couples are actually very lonely. Together but apart. So near yet so far.

Why am I exploring this topic? Well, I read an article in the Star newspaper about marriage. Even though the writer was so in love and besotted with her partner, after years of married life, she summed it up as ... Commitment. Kindness. The passion wanes. The love fades. I would add acceptance. If we can accept that this is our partner for life, it makes life together bearable. The bonus will be if the partner is a friend and lets you have your own space and freedom to lead your life as you see fit albeit within boundaries of your status. I have listened and observed so many marriages which are so empty. So constraint. So obligatory. Yet they stay as they feel that they have no choice. Hence, the voiceless loneliness. The silent unhappiness. The soundless discontent. Responsibilities are carried out without fail. Commitment fulfilled in sickness and in health. We indulge. We splurge. We give. Yet, we feel empty. Only the satisfaction that we have given our all and fulfill the marriage vows. No guilt. No regrets. No remorse. Thus, the question in one self - is this LIFE? Or is this living?

I have always loved to attend wedding ceremonies. To observe and to bask in the innocence and faith the couple have in their love for each other. I have always enjoyed the happy and cheerful atmosphere. To make their dream wedding materialise. I always smile and pray that they will, at the end of their lives, live happily ever after .... ;-))