Expect the unexpected....

Last Friday morning I received an sms from KPT saying that Khor's husband had passed away on Thursday, 18/8. I didn't hear of anything serious happening to her husband. Yes, he had diabetes problem. He opted for early retirement. He had to go for dialysis twice a week. No, I hadn't heard Khor mentioning anything about her husband. It was a shock. He was 58 years old.

Today, I had the opportunity to visit her. I've known her for almost 20 years i.e. since I first came to this school. She was the gentlest and mild natured lady teacher. Almost like Mak. We became friends not just staff - sharing recipes, fruits, asam, groundnuts, children's problems (she has two girls) and being in the same exam department forge the relationship further. We even had hi-tea once in a while when I get together with my non-muslim friends. We hugged long enough for me to feel her pain. Her disbelief. Her acceptance. She had a strong faith in her Buddhism. If she had been a muslim, she'd be under category "warak" unlike me.

 She said she received a call from her brother in-law asking her why her husband called and asked him to come and send him to KMC. Khor called home and talked to him. He said he felt uneasy and his whole body was not feeling normal. Khor said she'd be coming home and told him to wait for her. Unfortunately, she had a notorious class at that time and could only leave at 9:00am. By the time she reached home, her husband was on the floor of the bedroom, unconscious. Luckily her brother in-law arrived at the same time and they tried to carry him up onto the bed. They called the ambulance but it was an hour late due to the driver who didn't know this new housing estate. The paramedic declared him dead. He advised Khor not to send him to the hospital as they would have to do a post mortem. He told her to go to the police station and took along his diabetic card so that they could issue her a death certificate due to diabetes. At least, we could still respect the dead. Being a devout Buddhist, she didn't want to cause undue suffering to the departed soul.

She had regrets for not coming home earlier. All the ifs....the daughter who was home for the semester break had gone swimming with friends after she saw to it that her father had taken breakfast. Everything was so normal. He had difficulty breathing It could have been a heart attack. He did had heart blockage. The saddest part she said she will be retiring next year and nobody's home. She thought that she would have her husband to take care of. She is very patient although she did complain about her husband albeit in her quiet way. Well, who doesn't???? I told her not to have regrets. If its meant to be, then it's meant to be. She believes in fate. She had just completed her training as a volunteer worker with Tzu Chi Foundation. Maybe, I told her he did not want her to be worried about him when she started her volunteer work. She would not be able to join them if she has him. In her gentleness, there is strength. In her fragility, there is sturdiness. In her faith, there is comfort.

Today, too, I learned that Fadzillah's husband had passed away last Thursday (11/8/2011) after being hospitalised for 2 days due to a stroke. He was only 46 years old. Fadzillah had transferred out to another school but  we did meet up during meetings or pemantauan English oral. I don't know where she lives now. I must remember to ask Fauzi about this. Izinkanlah Ya Allah.

Loneliness. Khor is afraid of being lonely after the funeral when her daughters have to return to their respective colleges. She planned to go and stay with her mum until evening and then return home. I love my aloneness. Alone but never lonely. My sister used to say that I should just stay in the jungle as I prefer to be by myself and with myself.