It's almost a month of 2015. I have neglected my blog for quite some time due to time constraint, commitments and obligations. It's almost 3 weeks of school and I am still trying to get settled into the usual routine. I am just feeling so tired out and my heart is no longer in it. The passion has fizzled out and I am still trying to catch my breath and find the drive that makes me an educator.
Well ... 2014 was full of surprises, adapting and modifying my life. The whole of the year end break was committed to supervise the shop in Noor's absence. After almost 3 months of it, I did not think I had the cut to be a "boss". I just did not have that "giving orders" attitude. In fact, I thought I took orders from the most senior staff. Anyway, I found that it was easier to work together instead of being the leader. We worked together and solved whatever problems came our way together. Thus, it was an enlightening stint but honestly I would not want to go through holding the responsibility again.
2014 was also where my health issues were slightly under control. I managed to strengthen the swollen tissue by doing my walk faithfully during the break. I disciplined myself about it and committed myself to my walk. The foot was much better but my back was still a problem. I suppose it is the "getting old syndrome" .... ;-{ .
2014 - home wise - everything was fine. The boys with their own lives and Noor was doing a 3 month stint as a trainer in Ivory Coast. I found that I enjoyed being alone and on my own where I was responsible only for my own self. I could afford to be selfish for once. I could have control over my meals and time. I was not subjected to anybody's whims and fancy. I had to handle the bills, the shop and house accounts, the boys fees and monthly allowances, house repairs, car service and repair and basically running things. I was down with flu during this time but I managed to take care of myself. What had I learned from this opportunity to be alone? I liked it. Alone but never lonely. Anyway, I was used to all these responsibilities since my father's death. Thus, I guess in future, I will be able to cope on my own. InsyaAllah.
2014 - career wise. I guess its about time I consider moving on with my life and leave the profession. My heart and soul are no longer in it. I am seriously thinking of opting out. One needs a year for the application to be processed and approved. I am afraid that it will be rejected. Yet, I can try ... and pray for the best.
Hence, I welcome 2015 with open arms, heart and mind. I always believe that things have a way of working out by themselves - given time and patience. The first month was full of challenges and trials that made me more grateful and appreciate the little things. Everyday that was a smooth day was a blessed day. May I be graced with much needed strength, patience and resilience to face the coming months. May my simple wishes come true with the grace of Allah. I can only hope and pray that better things will come in due time, insyaAllah. Thus, to all page reviewers .... this quote expresses my wishes for all of you and I.
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