Sunday 30 March 2014

Book Vouchers ... ;-))

Since the government gave out book vouchers to university, college and form six students, I became the recipient courtesy of the three boys. That was a total of RM750 worth of books. Akmal loves reading so he would buy his books and something for me. He always allocated a book or two for me. Last year he bought for me "HAJJ - Journey to the heart of Islam" a book written on the exhibition about the history and rituals of the fifth pillar of the Muslim tenet - the Haj - at the British Museum. Ikram would just go with me to the book store and pay for whatever books I chose with his voucher. He did not like to buy books and neither did he like to read them preferring instead his laptop and smart phone. As for Syafiq, he would buy his gadgets and gave some of the book voucher to me. Let me loose in a book store and even my husband will leave me alone ... :-)). I would prefer shopping for books than clothes anytime ....

This year the three boys still got their book vouchers. So, when we went back to Malacca the other day to visit Ikram, both of us managed to find time to go to the book store. Ikram enjoyed watching his mother "shopped" for books !!!! Instead of a typical mother who would rather shop for clothes, shoes, bags and whatever womenly things - he just shook his head and told me to control myself. After I picked out the books, he calculated that it was more than the voucher's worth. So, reluctantly I had to choose the books I could buy later with Syafiq's voucher. These are the books finally chosen this year ....




Saturday 29 March 2014

MH370 In Memory ... 25 MARCH 2014

Should it be a memory? The whole world mourned for the loss of lives and the mysterious, unexplained disappearance of the jet. Malaysians grieved for every one on board regardless of the race, religion or faith. So, I shall have my two cents worth of thoughts to write and keep this incident in my blog as memory.

I did not know anything about the missing plane until an old friend smsed me about it as he thought he had a friend's family in the flight. I very seldom switched on the TV and I usually would catch up with the news from the newspapers the next day. I heard it over the radio but I did not comprehend anything about it. I immediately searched the internet and thus I found out about the missing plane on the 8th March 2014. What could I do but pray and I knew everybody who heard about it hoped that it was just a malfunction and the jet was safe. I honestly believed that everything would be alright. I wanted a miracle to happen for those waiting so that they would be happy.....

Then, all the speculations were let loose. Everybody seemed to have a theory about it. Of course we all had questions. Firstly, why did the plane deviate from its charted route? What actually happened on board the plane? It was anybody's guess but as days went by and the insinuations, inconsiderate and thoughtless remarks, insensitive comments .... whether through the internet or media were too much to bear reading. Imagine a child reading things written about his or her father, families reading about their relatives .... I hated it and I just stopped reading about it.

What was the saddest part to me was how Malaysians did not acknowledge nor gave credit where it was due. Our government, in its limited capacity to handle a crisis of such magnitude, was not being encouraged or supported by its own people. In fact, they were the loudest critics. I heard the criticisms, the accusations, the blame game - but I did not hear of any other suggestions or ways on how to handle this unfortunate incident. I did not care about politics but it was sad because never in Malaysia's wildest dreams did it imagined that it would have to face this humongous situation. Of course they fumbled. They made mistakes. They had to consider what to inform and what to hide. They fell but they picked themselves up and faced the situation as best as they knew how. There were no guidelines to follow. No SOP to lead them. Clearly it was out of our league. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you be able to handle it better?

Over the days, finally, it was announced that the search for the elusive jet ended at the Indian ocean. Such a vast and turbulent stretch of water. Not land where one could easily locate whatever debris. Allah, the Almighty, showed His might and power. What with bad weather, strong waves, uneven and uncharted waters ... as the SAR team said that it could take years just trying to bring back the debris. How developed was the technology of humans that it could not be used to find a plane? How little and minute we are in the eyes of Allah. All He did was to make ONE plane disappear. The whole world just could not confirm and verify if the debris scattered over the Indian ocean did indeed were part of MH370. They were confounded by this mystery.

The media - television and radio went all out to show their share of grief for MH370. There were none the usual programmes for a whole week. It was all about grieving by talking about deaths, how to handle deaths, how to cope with grief ....whatnots. I honestly did not see the logic of it. Maybe because I would prefer to just withdrew and grief in private. Let us give these people space and privacy to grief, accept and come to terms with their loss. It is never easy especially in this extraordinary situation and where the whole world is watching you. I would hate people invading my privacy. Let us just show some respect for them. Be a friend, if you have one on the plane. Pray for them the strength and patience to let go and carry on. Not easy, mind you, speaking from my own experience. Yes, life goes on .... slowly perhaps, one picks up the pieces. I would suggest that the media stopped repeating everything about it. They do not need reminders. They have enough to last a life time. Let them forget for a while ....

This is my own thoughts and feelings. I still hope they are still alive somewhere. I still pray not only for them but also for the living. If you have nothing encouraging or nice to say - then do not say anything. Silence speaks a thousand words. A prayer is all they need now. Somehow I still believe in miracles .... Allah is magic ...


Saturday 15 March 2014

Taking the Chance ....

Hmm ... I just wrote about second chances and my opinion was that I did not think I would take the opportunity. Last week was a piece of good news regarding second chances too.

Well, my neighbours, Sofiah and Kak Om remarried their old friends. I wanted to talk about a staff member who remarried after being single for almost 10 years. Hers was a different case but the fact that she finally took the step to try again at a relationship was something commendable and courageous of her.


This staff, who was 42 years old, was a victim of an abusive marriage. She married someone whom she loved and knew from her university days. A few months into her marriage, she was physically and emotionally abused. Her parents finally found out and took her out of the house and filed a petition to have the marriage annulled. It took years to build up her self-confidence again and had faith in men again. When I was informed of her marriage, I went to look for her to offer my heartiest congratulations and prayed for her lasting happiness. Whoever the lucky man was, I was glad Allah had reopened her heart for another man.

May second chances work out. For others who really need them. For me, I'll keep my own counsel. I may be sceptical about it but I would always wish and pray the best for others who take the plunge.


True isn't it? "It shall never forget" but it will never be the same..... the first time was always full of innocence and trust. By the time one goes through the experiences and the knocks of life, one becomes wiser, more wary, a little cynical perhaps and less trusting. Innocence lost. ... :-}

Saturday 8 March 2014

Second Chances .... ???

Recently I heard that our neighbour, Kak Om, who lost her husband last year due to diabetes, had remarried. She is 54 years old. Just as recent, a friend asked if there were second chances would you take it? I asked her to clarify. She said her old friend had gotten divorced and asked her to accept him into her life again. She is still single by choice. She is in her 40's. Well ??? I smiled at her ... she smiled and said if it had happened years ago, she would jump at this opportunity. But now, being much wiser (???  :-))p ) and perhaps older, made her consider her decision. She asked for my opinion ....oh dear me...

Well .... would I take the opportunity thrown at me? If it happens ... no, I do not think so. Serious...she asked. Yes, I answered without hesitation. What if someone is interested in you? she asked. What??? I asked. Who in his right mind would be interested in someone like me??? But why ???? she pestered.

Firstly, I am in my 50's. I do not think I would like to go through another life where I had to be subjected to another man. I think I would prefer to be on my own and do things at my own whims and pleasure without having to think of anybody's permission or schedule. Moreover, I am so used to make my own decisions and being independent. I think I would like that freedom if it is given to me. We have changed. The experiences that we went through life, the people we meet along the way, the ups and downs we have gone through have changed and moulded us into the person we are now. Besides, what we feel for that person years ago may not be what we feel for him now. I asked her if she still feels the same for her friend .. and she is unsure of her feelings too. Anyway, at my age, I am no longer looking for love. What is love anyway??? Furthermore ... I like to just think about me, for a change.  Finally, whoever falls in love with me at this age must either be blind or just stupid. I am getting old and there are so many young, pretty ladies available out there. Why waste your life with someone as old as I am ??? We laughed our heads off. This is a good song - I especially want to highlight the chorus : From the song "Sometimes love just ain't enough"

 "But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust;
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
baby, sometimes love just ain't enough..."

Yet, I told her ... being the hopeless,undying romantic me ... follow your heart. Not love, but in love. They are two different feelings. We love everybody. But in love with only that special someone. Do go ahead. You may have years more to go or you may have none. So, grab the opportunity. Fall in love again. Get to know him again. Who knows??? This time it may work out. But for me .... I'll pass.

For my neighbour, Kak Om and Sofiah, who had also remarried after her husband passed away, I wish them happiness. Sometimes, people are afraid of being alone and lonely. For me ... I cherish being alone and on my own. Loneliness ... it's all about the mind ... ha..ha..ha.. :-0))




Friday 7 March 2014

A Legend?

Me? A teacher legend? Isshhh ... I did not think I was so ancient. :-))  I'm still in my early half century. I do not have any acronyms of alphabets next to my name - JSU, GC, GK, PK, SICS or DELO. Just an English teacher. Full stop. Nothing more nothing less. I refused and I was not interested. I prefer just to teach...

I met an ex-student of 91/92 batch when I stopped for a break at Sg. Perak R&R. I was looking around the food stalls when I noticed this young man was staring at me. I just gave him a smile and waited at one of the tables. Suddenly, that young man approached my table with his wife. Zin came soon after with my drink. He asked me if I was the person he thought I was. When I acknowledged it, he sat down and started to introduce himself. It was such a gratifying feeling. Of course I remembered him even though it was 22 years ago !!! :-0))   I first came to Kedah in 1991. I started out teaching Forms 4 - 6. I was his form teacher in Form 4 and since the school practiced "follow-up" system, I was also their form teacher in Form 5. They were good, hard-working and disciplined students or was it because I was firm and disciplined????? Of course we caught up and he kept me updated with the others' development and we took photos. Suhaimi posted the photos in their school's alumni facebook and guess what were the comments ???? Ha..ha..ha... read on ...


What made me remembered this batch was due to the fact that I had to push them to study English. They did well, most of them with Suhaimi now attached as Head of Lab Dept with UniKL Ipoh. Hasnah had started her own legal firm in Kelang. I smiled and uttered "Alhamdulillah". They had done better than me, their old English teacher.

My sons had a fun time reading their comments. Suhaimi referred me as "teacher legend" and Ikram said the same thing. He said I should had realised that. They are now in their 40's. Can you imagine???? It was always gratifying to be reminded that somehow, at that moment of time, I had touched somebody's young life and made a difference. Thank you, Allah, for small mercies. I am humbled and grateful.

Teacher legend ???? Naahhhh .... I do not think I deserve it and neither am I one. I'd rather be my simple, unassuming self.  :-))