Monday 25 July 2016

When It's Time ...

It is coming towards the end of July. Almost seven months as a retiree. The only difference is that I do not have to go to work. I do not have to rush every working morning preparing breakfast for both of us, perform my prayers, join the traffic to school, get my work done and more, go home so tired and certain days just drained of energy, rest, prepare dinner, check out tomorrow's workload and sleep .... before the whole cycle starts again. Weekends then will almost be the same as now. Fridays are marketing days as the local market offers a wide array of goodies for sale. Then, its cleaning up the wet ingredients and prepare for dinner, go for my evening walk and rest. Saturdays will be attending my tafaqquh-din class until noon. After that it is going around doing my errands and settle bills as this is the only day I am free to go to town.

Now, I have the pleasure and the leisure of doing things in my own sweet time. I take longer time with my prayers. I read the Quran almost after every prayer. I still cook simple meals for the two of us or more if the boys are home or for some friends or his family. I do my morning walk. I read when I feel like it. Basically, I just relax and slow down. Thus, I thought my life would be just like this. Lazy. Relax. I did not take into account about my better half. He also felt that he was semi-retired. Every trip we took to visit his family or for whatever reasons, he would extend his leave. Last Hari Raya was a four day leave. When we went to Kuantan for Adri's engagement (his nephew), he took another five days leave and we went Raya visiting to Terengganu and Kelantan. I advised him not to retire until he had something he could do. I am content staying home and do my chores and reading or writing. He has nothing much going for him at home besides his social media which will drive me nuts.

While in Terengganu we met-up with Ridzuan, who had retired professionally for the past two years. He talked about his reasons for retiring. The stress. The pressure. The woke-up call when he almost suffered a minor stroke due to extreme stress. He decided to retire and free lance. I supposed with one school-going child and two university going children; with a wife working full-time, he was quite confident of not working full time. At least he said he was more at peace, his relationship with his family was much improved and he found time for his Creator. Alhamdulillah.

When we met up with Shahidan in Kota Bahru, he had retired for almost ten years. Where Wan was a go-getter and worked with high expectations of himself and those under him, Dan was more lackadaisical and took things easy. He was not the type to be motivated to push himself so he decided to be a house husband and managed the family and kids. His wife was a full-time professional. I supposed it worked for the both of them. He also managed a homestay business.

Thus, my better half is mulling on opting for retirement. He has been complaining a lot of his work lately. The signs of being unhappy in his job. He will drive me nuts unless he has something to fill his time. We have such different interests and I often wonder what attracted us in the first place. Hahahaha .... ;-(0))  Well, people did said opposites attract !!!!  Well, Allah has already planned for all of us. When it is time for something to happen, it will happen. Maybe he has his own dreams ... whatever happens, we will face it and live with each other ... ;-))))  

I took almost a year thinking about it before something happened to give me the push I needed to apply for optional retirement. My better half gave me his support and encouragement. My boys agreed with my decision. So, whatever Noor's decision will be, I will give him my full support too. We will work things out somehow. The boys will be completing their studies in the next two years ... so, in shaa Allah, Noor will have less responsibility. Then, we will plan living our lives as we want to, for our selves. When it's time ...




Sunday 24 July 2016

Too Busy Or Make Time ....

How true isn't it? There is no such thing as too busy if you want those people in your life. If one feels that those people are important, would not one make the effort to keep in touch and maintain the relationship? Or is it a subtle way to cut off ties by slowly distancing oneself by using being busy as an excuse? Until finally, one is totally separated from those people.


Yet, isn't this is how one loses friends or people once close to? Family obligations, work commitments. friends, this and that ... in fact any reason is acceptable enough not to even spend a minute to send a message or a call. Then, one day one just realises that one just does not have any reason to call or contact the others.

On the contrary, there is a saying that even if one never keeps in touch, is very far from each other and lost for years ... the heart knows and will always keep one in their thoughts and prayers. And thus, when the opportunity arises to meet up, the gap just closes and they pick up where they last meet-up as if they have never been apart .....