Tuesday 18 October 2016

Inspiring, Uplifting And Humbling ....

1st Story ... Inspiring

She was only fourteen years old. Average sized, sweet with shoulder length hair tied in a pony tail. She had her backpack with her at all times. It was 4am at the emergency ward at Serdang Hospital. I smiled and sat beside her at the corridor. I was curious as to what she was doing here and who was in the emergency ward. She was quite hesitant and reluctant to tell her story at first. I just smiled and waited to kill time and finally, her whole story came out.

She was here to accompany her mother. Her mother was having difficulty breathing and her brothers brought her here. When I was in the ward, I saw her with a woman on one of the beds. Her mother was a diabetic patient who had both her legs amputated. She had to go dialysis weekly. She said she was in Form two. I could not recall her school's name or where she was from. But she was from somewhere around here. Her father was at a drug rehabilitation centre. She had three older brothers and she was the youngest. Her eldest brother was in his final year at ALAM (Akademi Laut Melaka), Malacca. Her second and third brother opted to work to support their eldest brother and family. I held her brothers in high regard for shouldering the responsibility that should had been their father's. She did not go to school if she had to look after her mother. Her mother had been in and out of hospitals since she was twelve years old. She was so used to hospitals unlike me. She was so accepting and making the best of the situation. Not blaming her father or her life. Never once did I heard of her grumbling or grousing her dissatisfaction or discomfort of being here. I honestly did not know what her future held for her but in the hands of her brothers, she would be alright. In shaa Allah.



2nd Story ... Uplifting

When we were warded for a few hours in the four-bedded second class ward 6 at Selayang Hospital, I got to meet this young man in his thirties. His bed was next to Syafiq. Thus, to while the time waiting for a vacant room in the first class, he and I got talking. Of course the story would be about his reason for being in this ward. He was a very friendly and cheerful guy but little did one realised what pain he had to suffer.

He said he was waiting for his turn to x-ray his left leg. It was already four days. He worked at a futsal court. His right knee had been installed with screws a few years back due to an accident. He said one of the screws had already loosened due to his most recent accident. He had a misstep at the Komuter station and fell. When he could not get up, they called the ambulance. That was how he landed up here in this ward. He was also diabetic and had to undergo dialysis twice weekly. Yet, he was so positive about life. He still played futsal although his health constrained him. He was still single and lived with his mother. His cheerfulness helped Syafiq and I to be more positive when we were actually feeling so low about being warded. The worries and fears of the unknown injury in Syafiq's shoulder was the unvoiced fear. Here, Allah met us up with this guy to get some strength and hope. SubhanAllah.



3rd Story ... Humbling

While waiting for Syafiq's turn to be x-rayed at the orthopedic unit, I met up with this lady sitting on a chair near me. I smiled at her and asked the boy next to her as to why he was not in school. She smiled at me and started her story. I guessed hospitals were lonely places where one could get very down and depressed with the sick all around us.

She said her daughter, the boy's mother, (there were another two of his siblings), was in the ward near the x-ray unit. She was already in stage three tongue cancer. That was why the doctor allowed her children and mother stayed the night at the wards. Hospitals ruling was only one family member preferably female to accompany patients at night. Her daughter started by suffering from mouth ulcer. It was too often and when it became unbearable, she went to the clinic which did a swab of her tongue and sent it for a biopsy test. It tested positive for tongue cancer which was already at stage three. She underwent chemotherapy for almost two years. The doctors had to amputate her tongue as the cancer had spread to her throat and lungs. At the same time she started chemo treatment, she was pregnant with her fourth child. She gave birth via cesarean to a baby girl which now lived with this lady, her grandmother. The baby was already a year old. This lady came all the way from Bentong, Pahang to be with her daughter as the doctors said she was in a serious situation. Since the family lived in Kuala Selangor, it was not practical to go home and come back again. Anything could happen. Her daughter's husband was with her when this lady was telling her story. She was so accepting and was prepared to face whatever eventuality.


People meet for a reason. It is not coincidence that we meet up with these people. It is already pre-ordained by Allah. At a time when I am at an all time low, these people lift my spirits, give me hope and strength with their stories and how they cope with their mishaps, make me feel so grateful for the little mercies of Allah to ease my own trials. I look at Syafiq and I keep repeating "Alhamdulillah" for still keeping Syafiq safe and in one piece for me. What we are facing is so trivial compare to all the stories that I have heard while I was in the hospital.

These are only three of the stories that I want to share with all of you. While in the hospital I have learned to be a good listener. Most of these caregivers just want to pour out their worries and fears. All they need is someone who have the time to listen to them. I do not know how to offer words of comfort but I suppose, like me, being able to share, is the biggest comfort of all. I hope these stories will be able to uplift and give strength to whoever is facing his own tests and trials. Do offer a prayer for all those patients and especially for the caregivers.  





Tuesday 11 October 2016

Which Grace of Allah Do You Deny???

Surgery was scheduled for Tuesday - 4th October 2016 or 2nd Muharram 1438H. We were advised to be admitted two days earlier to prepare Syafiq for the surgery. He would need the time to prepare himself mentally, emotionally and physically for it. On Monday, although it was a public holiday for Ma'al Hijrah, the doctors came one by one to brief him on what was going to happen. They were very clear and direct, showing pictures via their handphones. The anaesthetist came and explain the procedure to give him a general anaesthesia. Then, the surgeon who was going to perform the surgery came and explained where he was to make the incision, how long and how many screws would go into the plate on his glenoid. After that was a visit from the sports doctor who would be in charge of his post-surgery and rehabilitation process. It was quite overwhelming. No wonder we were advised to admit two days earlier than the scheduled surgery. A day just to rest and relax. The day before was just a lot of preparations. Later, a young doctor came to mark the site for the surgery area. It sounded like marking a tree for felling .....


That night he was told to have his last meal at midnight. He was scheduled to be the first patient for the orthopedic team. I was relieved to hear that as the waiting for the surgery would be faster i.e. as soon as you woke up. I sent out sms to all my siblings to allow us some privacy to prepare Syafiq emotionally and psychologically. We performed our Maghrib prayers, 'solat hajat' and recited the "surah Yaasin" led by Noor in the privacy of our hospital room. Just the three of us asking for the strength and patience to face this daunting trial graced by Allah. I asked for the prayers of those dear and close to us.

At 5:30am, the nurse sent the surgery uniform. We prepared Syafiq with lots of support and love. He was afraid of the unknown yet he was calm and accepting about it. I kept my cool and just told him to just get on with it. Only Allay knew what a turmoil my insides were. But the doctors were very reassuring and the nurses and staff were very compassionate and patient. I felt total heartfelt appreciation and gratitude for their understanding. It was a first time for us as parents. The fear, the anxiety, the gamut of mixed feelings all in one.

I used to wish I had a little girl to tie ribbons .... and I got to tie ribbons on Syafiq's surgery clothes .. ;-}
Following the nurse pushing Syafiq to the operation theatre  .. . I went alone
I kissed him on his forehead and let him go into the operation theatre, leaving him in the hands of Allah swt
I went back to the room and waited with Noor. The waiting was calm and I spent it reciting my Quran, prayers and walking up and down the corridor outside the wards. I sent him at 6:53am. We finally received news that he was ready to be back into the room. I followed the nurse again to the operation theatre and was just glad to see him conscious. It was 1:50pm. It was almost seven hours.
I wished I could take his pain away. I detached myself from whatever turmoil was churning in my heart and mind. I smiled at him and kissed his forehead. The biggest hurdle was over.

Looks could be so deceiving - that bandage covered eleven stitches where they made an incision to put in the titanium plate with four screws to tighten the glenoid / shoulder socket
I marvelled at this son of mine. His positive attitude. His easy going ways. His acceptance. His aunties from near and far made the journey to see him. My sisters from Malacca and Cameron Highlands came. This is one favourite nephew. I was just glad it was over. Syafiq was just glad his mum was around. Everything would be all right by the grace of Allah. Noor took leave regardless of being approved or not for the two weeks we were in and out of hospital. I could just heave a long sigh of gratitude and thanks to Allah for being compassionate and merciful by easing everything for us. Now the long road to recovery and rehabilitaion.

Thus, which grace of Allah do you deny ???? (Ar-Rahman)


Sunday 2 October 2016

Salam Maal Hijrah 1438H


Alhamdulillah for another year by the grace of Allah. We start the new year at the hospital. Syafiq is admitted today instead of tomorrow upon the advice from Noor's cousin nephew. A challenging start to the new year. A trial for the whole family but we still manage to keep calm and accept it. Since Syafiq is so accepting of it and never complain or bitter about the accident, helps all of us to remain a semblance of sanity. We are not angry with the van driver neither do we try to locate him to file charges or bear the cost of the treatment. When Noor filed the police report, we were informed that the van driver had already filed his. We shall face it when the time comes. Now we have more pressing issues. And it is only the first day of 1438H.

I ask Allah for so little yet He bestows us with so much. Maybe to reward us for our acceptance and patience. How could we not be so grateful for the ease He has graced us with to handle this mishap? I am so thankful for the strength given to Syafiq and the easiness of him bearing his injury. It is me, the mother that keeps praying for myself to be strong. So many times, in the silence and peacefulness of the night, only He witnessed my worries, tears and fears. Only He can ease the pain I feel each time I watch Syafiq grimaces with pain. He tries to make light of it as he knows how worried I will be. In his hour of being tested, he still has me in mind. SubhanAllah for such a thoughtful son .... all I can say is "Alhamdulillah" - Praise to Allah.

An old friend wished me a better and meaningful year. I wish to wish everybody a year full of blessings and love, compassion and kindness, gratitude and thankfulness, peace and harmony ..... where any trials and tribulations are faced with patience, tolerance and resilience. In Allah we lay our lives as whatever He has planned for us is much more perfect than what we can plan for ourselves. Have a blessed and gentle year .... in shaa Allah.



The Accident ...

How does one react when one receives distressing news? Stunned? Shocked? Detached? Denial? Why did not I feel these gamut of emotions? When I received the call about Syafiq's accident, I was more into getting confirmation and facts. It was when I talked to Akmal that I broke down and poured out my fears and tears. It was a cleansing session. After that I controlled myself even in front of my partner. I was calm and detached my worries from reality.

Looks so calm and peaceful but when one enters through that door does one know how chaotic it is ... 
When I finally saw him myself in the emergency room at Serdang Hospital, I held myself in check. They had given him pain killer so he was not in so much pain. Nevertheless, mothers would always be mothers. They felt the pain of their children. Syafiq's eyes began to redden and when I kissed him on the forehead a tear rolled slowly down his cheek. I controlled myself and smiled at him assuring him of my presence. He was conscious and apologized for making me came to KL. I told him nothing could stop me.

When the x-ray revealead a fractured spacula of the right shoulder, they discharged him with a sling and pain killers. There was nothing much they could do as it was at the back. The next day he was in so much pain and vomitted that we decided to get a second opinion. Noor called his cousin nephew who was an orthopaedic specialist at Selayang Hospital. He asked us to come immediately. He confirmed the scapula fracture which had reached the glenoid fossa and needed surgery. He arranged another doctor who specialised in shoulder injury. We accepted his diagnosis and agreed to go through what he suggested. So, now we wait for Tuesday.

As I waited, I observed the emergency ward at Serdang Hospital. It was quite busy and most of the beds were full. They were understaffed and did the best they could with the few facilities they had. Yet they tried to be cheerful, compassionate and sympathetic. I asked the young doctor how she could take in the pain and suffering ... seeing the blood, injuries and cuts ... listening to the moans and groans ... She gave a smile that spoke volumes. I went out to the waiting corridor and saw a teenager sitting alone. I sat next to her and learned her reason for being in this place at this hour. I was humbled by her patience, resilience and acceptance of her mother's condition. She was only fourteen years old. Too young to bear all her life's challenges. Yet she had such a happy and positive disposition that I strove to be like her.

As I waited  (most of the time we were doing a lot of waiting with practiced patience) I did a lot of contemplation and reflection. There was so much to be grateful for. In His trials, Allah had graced us with so much ease to face it.
1.  Syafiq had only one part of the body fractured. Although serious, it was not severe.
2.  He had just completed his final exam.
3.  He started his two week semester break.
4.  A PLUS official was just two cars behind him and he saw it happened which expedited and facilitated help.
5.  We had siblings around KL who rallied around him until we arrived.
6.  Ikram, his brother, was near to come and wait with him to give him comfort and security.
7.  It was a weekend.
8.  Noor's cousin is an orthopaedic specialist who called out all favours to expedite everything and
got us the best specialist for his treatment.
9.  He was covered under his university's insurance scheme for hospitalisation and surgery.
10. The doctors scheduled the surgery as soon as possible.

I could just heave a huge sigh of relief and gratitude. Thus, which grace of Allah do you deny?  "Maka nikmat Allah manakah yang kamu dustakan?"  Surah Ar-Rahman.

May whoever reads this join us in our prayers for a smooth and easy operation by the grace of Allah. Amiin.