Patience, Tolerance....

Today I visited a colleague at the hospital who had her left leg amputated due to diabetes. It was a much refreshing experience compared to the visit that I made last week at the same hospital. Last week I visited my neighbour, a man, in his late 50's, who had his left leg amputated due to diabetes, too. His right hand was so swollen and three of his fingers were already affected by gangrene. It was burnt black and he could hardly feel anything. Even the other leg had 2 toes blackened by gangrene. It was a humbling experience. We took our limbs for granted and little aches and pains, we are already complaining and groaning. My neighbour was moaning in pain. Every moan brought out the pain in me. I could only emphatise and it was as if I could feel the pain. It was also scaring seeing how he had let the disease took control of his body.

"Ya Allah, kata Mu, setiap penyakit menggugurkan satu dosa yang dilakukan oleh hamba Mu. Tapi, berikanlah kekuatan dan kesabaran agar hamba Mu redha dengan dugaan Mu. Berat mata memandang, sakit lagi dia yang menanggung. Kata Mu jua, ya Allah, selepas kesusahan datang kesenangan, maka hendaklah kamu berusaha dan hanya kepada Nya kamu berserah. Engkau menduga dengan apa yang mampu ditanggung oleh hamba Mu itu. Hanya Engkau tahu setakat mana kemampuan hamba Mu. Redhailah dia dan permudahkanlah untuknya".

My colleague looked a lot more relaxed and accepting. She also looked much better. The burden of making the decision must had weighed heavily on her as it affected her husband and children. Her husband said she could sleep better now as the pain was much bearable. She was considering optional retirement or medical board. I don't know if I can come to terms with this condition. Losing a limb is like losing something that makes you complete. Our body is not ours anyway. It is a gift from Allah and we are obligated to take care of it. Nothing is ours. "He taketh what He has giveth, when and how He so chooses." 

Thank you, ya Allah, for allowing me to visit her. For having friends who thoughtfully considered asking me to join them. For bringing a little cheer to her. For making someone's life a little happier. It's her 48th birthday today. May she faces life with more love, tolerance, patience and acceptance. May her husband and children have the patience and love to care and accept her. InsyaAllah. Amin. 

How Chinese Ikram looks like...:=)

This morning we sent Ikram off for PLKN. Albeit reluctant to go, I told him to make the best of the situation. Enjoy the stint and perhaps, make new friends out of the SDAR cocoon. Well, the registration went well and all I could do was prayed that he met someone he knew, for Allah to make it easier for him to make friends and to take care of him. Allah is so GREAT! He does not want a mother to worry. After the bus went off, Ikram sent me a message that Sunshine was going to the same camp as he was. Sunshine was his friend in Primary school before he went off for boarding school. I gave him the name Sunshine due to the brownish colour of his hair. I honestly could not recall his real name. Alhamdulillah. Now, he's looking forward to PLKN camp.

What struck me was how Chinese Ikram looked like after he cut off his hair according to PLKN requirement. Yesterday, we went to the barber to cut his hair to Number 2. He did not want the PLKN people to do a messy job. After he had cut off the hair, I realised how Chinese he looked! :-) He denied it. Being slightly darker than the elder 2 brothers ( although, personally I'd said the most handsomest ) he does not look very Chinese, my side of his genes. Even Noor said he really looked like his mother. Noor recalled that when I first went to GPMS night class back in 1980, he thought I was a Chinese girl too! He was wondering what this Chinese girl was doing in a class for Malays. Hmmm... Really??

I never thought I looked Chinese, thanks to Mak. I never really put any attention to it. Being in a Convent school where there were more non-Malays, I was accepted as one. Being a Malaccan where most Nyonyas do not speak Chinese, I was one of them. It's when I went to teaching college that it was such a glaring issue. Yet, some of the guys thought that was what made me stood out from the others. Oh well, it's not that I made an issue out of it. When I got married and went to Noor's kampung, the kampung folks thought he had married a Chinese. It did not help that my family entourage included two Chinese friends i.e Maureen and Li Lian.When I came to my present school in Kedah, I was made more aware of my looks. I had teachers whom I first met who thought that I was a convert. Students who described me as the Chinese teacher "yang masuk Islam". HMMM....I'm glad the boys accepted their heritage. Proud of being different and accepted that their Mum is just not a typical, stereotypical Malay Mum. I'm grateful that my husband accepted me as who and what I am. Albeit slowly....over the years, I think he, too, has come to terms with it. :=)

I hope Ikram will enjoy his stint with PLKN and make new friends out of SDAR. Syafiq had enjoyed his 3 months with PLKN and it made him more confident, raised his self-esteem and more independent. After 5 years in boarding school, Ikram should adapt well. InsyaAllah. I wonder if we can go and visit him next week??  :-D