Reflections of an older me

"In the end you just find yourself happy to be living life,
no matter what's thrown at you."

I am feeling rather nostalgic, melancholic and reflective. Maybe age is creeping up on me. I have been so busy of late with whatnots and everything that I feel I just cannot keep up with the time that seems to fly past so swiftly.

Another year gone. Life is never on hold. Whatever comes my way all these months, I have been ploughing through them. Sometimes I fall. Many times, I brush my back, take a deep breath, istighfar and just smile. Life goes on. The hurts are buried deep so that it will not cloud the mind. Let me see the good in whatever happens. I may not like it and usually my action will be to avoid the person involve. This whole year has also offered a lot of smiles and laughter. Pleasant company and enjoyable outings. Just to counter the trying times, Allah has blessed me with some good times. I guess getting older makes you appreciate all the small, little, insignificant times. Most of the time I can only say SubhanAllah. MasyAllah. Alhamdulillah for His grace and mercies. I am grateful I can still smile, find comfort in little things, get love, support and encouragement from those dear and near. Life goes on .....

I believe that for things to get better they will always get worse first. Health wise I think the worse is over. Work wise, it can only get worse from what I can see for now. Thus, for my life to change, I have to change. That's how the saying goes. I have tried ... now we wait and hope for the best. It will get better right?

This is the video that Syafiq posted on my Facebook last year. It is a fun video to cheer me up as usually none of the boys will be home to celebrate it with me. Except last year when we managed to go to Kota Kinabalu as Syafiq and Ikram were on semester break. The 3 robots represent the 3 of them. How sweet ...

I have not planned anything or made any wishes or have any hopes for the coming year. I just pray for the patience, strength, calmness and resilience to face whatever that comes my way. "Mencari nikmat dalam dugaan. Mencari dugaan dalam nikmat. Maka nikmat Allah manakah yang kamu dustakan??" 

Life is acceptance. Life is giving. Life is living. There is one quote that I have always loved and remembered when my own heart feels heavy and everything seems to be against me. It gives the strength to smile and plod on.

"Give a smile to someone passing.

thereby makes his morning glad,

it may greet you in the evening;

when your own heart may be sad."

There were many times when I really needed one....well, enough nostalgia and melancholy ... :-))  ... another year has passed. There is no turning back but to look forward. Make the best of the situation. So, happy birthday to me. May it be a better year than the last. May I be able to make it a better year. InsyaAllah.