Abang in memory .... 2

I visited Abang almost every time I was down in KL. Either using public transport or if Noor was driving...I went to visit him with Noor, my sons or my sisters. During the last visit which I went with Kak Hajar, Ikram and Syafiq, there were signs he was trying to tell us. Even though his speech was still hoarse, when he said these words, it was very clear. He said it as a matter of fact and was looking at me as if I would understand. Surprisingly, I understood him what he meant very well. Kak Hajar was unclear about it until I explained to her what Abang meant. He said "Abang dah 71 tahun tau. Tak lama dah lagi."  I told him I knew. What he meant was Bapak died at the age of 71. Mak died at the age of 71. His mother passed away much younger due to cancer. As usual, we usually just ignored what the sick said and did not pay much attention to it. He was a good man and did his duty as a brother and head of the Aziz family with all their idiosyncracies and temperaments as well as he could.

Allah made everything so smooth for him. He passed away on 17 Ramadhan (19 JULY 2014) or "Nuzul Quran". A special date for the Muslims. I had just completed my 3 days duty as examiner for SPM oral for private candidates at Hotel Seri Malaysia. I reached home about 1:00pm. Rested before I started to prepare something for "iftar" and was having a nap when the phone rang. I had not even unpacked my bag. It was from Kak Hajar. I was quite disoriented being woken up from my nap and the news took some time to sink in. It was almost 4:00pm. The first thing that came into my mind was my oral centre the next day where I was the chief examiner. Going home was not an option. I called Noor and told him I was going home as soon as I could. He said he would try to settle everything and we could leave as soon as possible. I called Fakaruddy (my ULKCP chief) to inform him of my situation and he told me to go home. He would take over my place as chief examiner. It was not easy to get one at an instant so he volunteered. Alhamdulillah for friends. ....

We finally left about 6pm. I drove. I needed to do something to focus so that my mind would not think about the sudden demise. As I was driving, the tears just rolled down that it was blurring my vision. Noor asked if I was okay and I said yes. We arrived at Wah's house about midnight as we made stops for breaking fast and prayers. There was no rush as the funeral was the next morning. Kak Hajar, Abang Zul and Nadia had already arrived from Camerons. Kak Ti and Kak Leha with their families stayed at a hotel near Ampang. We were all so tired. When we woke up for our dawn meal (sahur) we recited the surah Yaasin  for Abang.

By 9am, we convoyed to Abang's house in Keramat and went straight to the mosque nearby. There they held a the usual rites of bacaan surah Yaasin, tahlil, solat jenazah and finally prayers by Uztaz Habib Ali. Abang was one of the founders of Pondok Jenderam near Dengkil, a centre for the studies of Quran and religion. Thus, there were many representatives, friends, families, neighbours and strangers who came. We went to the cemetery (Taman Perkuburan Ampang) right in the heart of Kuala Lumpur. The cemetery was surrounded by high rise buildings of KLCC, hotels, banks and other institutions.

Tanah Perkuburan Ampang, KL - the crowd whom escorted Abang to his grave. Women were not allowed on the graveyard until all the rites had completed. That was Abang's wish. So, we waited until the men had dispersed before we went to his grave to offer our prayers ...

It was a cloudy and gloomy weather but there was no hint of rain. Abang got his wish to be buried next to his mother's grave. Everybody was solemn but there were no tears of acute grieving. Just silent tears rolled down the cheeks when we felt the sadness of the occasion. We let him go, our first sibling, who was 71 years old and who was a pious and religious person with our thoughts, love and prayers. I will always include him in my daily prayers for my parents. Hopefully, make a yearly visit to Kak Ita ... my sister in-law so that she would not feel isolated from the family. May Abang rest in peace .... Al-fatihah for Abang, Bapak and Mak. Aamiiin.

Abang in memory - 1943 - 2014

I have 5 half-siblings and 12 siblings of my own. We share the same father. Our age gap is vast ranging from 10 years to over 20 years. Abang could have been the father figure of my younger siblings. Suraya, the youngest of us all is 42 years old which means that her age difference with Abang is 29 years !!! The age difference between Abang and I was 18 years old. My family is old .... Abang had no children of his own. He had one adopted son whom he adopted when he was already in his fifties. Thus, Ridhwan is only 24 years old - recently graduated and has just started a new job when Abang was admitted. The poor, young man had to grow up fast. Yet, with Abang Omar's guidance ... insyaAllah, he will be able to cope with the loss, his new job and take care of his adopted mother.

Abang was first admitted to Kuala Lumpur hospital last December 2013. Partly the reason why our annual "cuti-cuti cari makan" last year was centred around KL/PJ area. He had shortness of breath and was admitted for observation. We went to see him during Munir's wedding reception after we returned from Sabah for Akmal's convocation. When we went for the first time, he was sleeping so I did not enter the CCU ward to see him. Later, he was sent to Prince Court hospital for diagnosis as HKL took some time about it. Since Abang Omar had a friend there, he was sent there. Abang was as stubborn as Bapak was (I guess it runs in the family .... :-}) but he had no say in the matter anymore. When he was confirmed with blockages of his heart, Abang Omar decided to contact friends with National Heart Institute (IJN). When we visited him before his by-pass, he was still his usual self - soft - spoken, calm and just being "Abang" .... That was the last happy photo we took together when he was smiling and still looked healthy.

Slowly, his health deteriorated. After the by-pass, which was a success, he snatched out the tubes in his throat in his semi-consciousness state causing it to be injured and badly scratched. Thus, he lost his power of speech as he could only talk in a hoarse whisper. We had difficulty in understanding him and he was frustrated when he could not relay his thoughts. His lungs were infected. Since IJN could not handle the lungs, he was then transferred to Gleneagles hospital. There he underwent observation for his lungs. Abang Omar transferred him there for faster treatment. He was in the ICU for almost 2 weeks before he was transferred to the normal ward. Later, when everything was  stabilised, Abang could return home. Abang Omar hired two private nurses to take care of him round the clock as Kak Ita also had her own health issues. When he had problems with his diabetes, he was sent to University Kebangsaan Hospital (HUKM) where he also underwent speech therapy. Thus, during my last visit to him in June 2014, he could speak much clearly and he was audible to us. He returned home for almost a fortnight before shortness of breath caused him to be readmitted. According to Kak Che Mah, they went to visit him in the morning, left him to rest and Zohor prayers as it was Ramadhan, and he was already gone. It was so fast and easy. Kak Che Mah and Abang Omar were dissatisfied and questioned Abang's private nurse but he could only say that it was very fast. The doctors could not do anything much. The nurse called them to inform them about Abang's passing. Abang's final stay in the hospital was only for one night. He passed away with no family except for his private nurse who had been taking care of him for almost 2 months. The 2 young male nurses did 12 hour shifts to monitor and personally gave their best, tender and professional care.

It was worth it .... :-))

This is the final Melaka house painstakingly, lovingly and wholeheartedly made by Zin for Abang. Abang had commissioned to make one for him. Zin had made 2 so far and this was the final one.  While ZIn was modifying and fine-tuning it, he was wondering if he had enough time. Abang was already in and out of hospitals. Zin wanted to make this the best he could for his half-brother. We may not be close but we respect and accept each other. Finally, he managed to send it to Abang when he was back home at Taman Keramat.

When we visited Kak Ita, Abang's wife, during the Raya break, I was impressed with this model house. The roof could be opened to see the layout inside. Zin had also created the stairs leading to the attic. It was a fine and intricate workmanship. The windows and doors could be opened. It was a traditional Melaka house. Kak Ita said Abang spent the last week of his life looking at the house every day. He told Kak Ita about the house, whose rooms were upstairs and down stairs, the attic, the memories he had when he was there. Their wedding and other weddings that were held there. Mak Cik's death. Bapak's death. Kak Ita said Abang spent a lot of time in his wheel chair just playing with the house. Letting his nostalgic memories created a smile on his face. Kak Ita was thankful to Zin for completing the house on time and sent it to Abang before he passed away.

Yes, Zin. It was worth it. The model house made Abang happy and I supposed reminded him of Bapak. He had done his best as a big brother as he knew how. Now, let us pray that he is at peace with himself and with his Creator. Aamiiin.....

My prayers go to Makcik ...

Mala's mother aka Hamid's mother in-law had safely undergone her by-pass operation at Penang hospital on 10th July 2014. When Mala smsed me about it I was so worried for her. All I could do was told Mala to give her a big, tight hug from me. I could picture her serene, calm face and her quick smile. It was a Thursday. Every Thursday my school will hold a surah Yaasin recital at 7:15am before the morning assembly. So, on that morning, I recited the magical surah for her, Abang, my mother in-law, my late parents, my boys and also for an old friend who was celebrating his birthday today. Mala smsed later that she had already entered the operating theatre at 11:00am. I offered a prayer for a successful surgery. Mala smsed again that Makcik finally came out of the operating theatre at 6:00pm. The doctors discovered more than 2 blockages. She finally regained consciousness at around 2:00pm on Friday, 11th July 2014. She took quite some time to recover consciousness ....

Why am I concerned? Elderly people have always a special place in my heart. Their fragility... their nostalgic memories ... their sentiments about their children and family ..... some elderly people are very special to me. Makcik, Mala's mother, is very close to me. I enjoyed her company and she always had a ready smile for me. The late Makcik, Pak Din's - a friend of Noor - always had me concerned for her welfare. Azizi's parents - Noor's brother in-law's parents - meant a lot to me too. Pakcik loved it when we invited him over for "makan-makan" and would always referred to me as "Kak Long", referring to my position in Noor's family. My mother in-law has my utmost respect as she is Noor's mother. Even though sometimes we had issues due to our different backgrounds ... she deserved my respect just because she is my mother in-law. That was why I drove down to Melaka when I heard that she was warded. So many elderly people to acknowledge ... They may get on your nerves most times but more often than not, once you have time to reflect, they are just worried about you. Thus, I bear no ill-feelings and respect them more.

Oh yes ... I must not forget Pak Wan, who was already in his sixties.Status dead or alive is unknown since we lost contact over the years and his number was no longer reachable. He became a friend while we were doing our Haj back in 2005. He was Noor's room mate in Madinah and although separate rooms in Mekah, their rooms were just next to each other. He used to be the HR manager for a large company in KL. He was from KL. He attached himself to Noor and slowly to me as Noor was my mahram. So, we tagged along together. He came alone. Slowly we got into the habit of sharing newspaper. He used to buy the English version and would wait for me at the hotel's lobby to share the paper. One day, he talked about his late wife who passed away in his car on the way to the hospital. He even took out his wallet to show her lovely picture. She was still young and they had a baby girl then. Pak Wan never remarried. He took care of his daughter And now she is a doctor with 2 children. He would follow Noor for the throwing of the stone and tawaf. During our departure to return to Malaysia, we were stranded at Jeddah airport for 3 hours. So, to kill time, both of us wandered to the restaurants available at the airport and I was commenting I was hungry. I did not carry money with me only loose change. Pak Wan bought drinks, cakes and sandwiches and we sat at one of the chairs eating them. Noor was quite upset as if I had taken advantage of Pak Wan. I said Pak Wan wanted to give me a treat and I concurred happily. We sat and ate our food satisfyingly. We went to see him after the Haj with the boys when we were in KL. He was not well then. It was our last meeting and contact with Noor. He will always have a place in my heart and prayers.

Another elderly people that deserved to be mentioned are the two ladies from my Terawih session prayers. Every year we would meet as pre-destined. Every year we would part with the same phrase - "Jika kita tak jumpa tahun depan, maknanya kita dah tak ada." So far they are still around. When we met up during the early Ramadhan, I went up to them and kissed their hands. They hugged me tightly as if I was a long, lost daughter. You feel much loved and welcomed by not family but strangers who have become a part of my life. By nature, I am an aloof, unfriendly person and not quite adept at my social skills. Yet, over the years, they would always give me advice, remind me gently whatever they thought I did was not correct, got involve with my life through their questioning sessions ....

So, why am I concerned? I am very worried not for the surgery but for the recovery period. Look at Abang, my half-brother - from a heart by-pass to lung infection to throat injury and finally amputated toes.... and he thought all he needed was to correct his heart  ;-{  ..... In my nightly prayers, I can only pray that they are given the patience, strength and resilience to face their health issues .... I hope Makcik will recover soon to celebrate the Eid-ul-Fitri with her family. She is in Penang now so it is not possible for me to visit her unless Noor is free to accompany me there. Thus, I can only pray for her and for her family, especially Mala, my sister in-law, to face this trial with patience and faith that Makcik WILL be alright. It's Ramadhan .... its a magical month ... :-))

What I had learned from being a CT ...

My task as a the Cooperating Teacher (CT) ended on 26 June 2014 after almost 4 months. In reality I did not do anything much except observing the practical teachers, evaluate them, had a talk and imparting my experience and my opinion regarding their classroom performance. Otherwise, whenever I was free, I spent time getting to know them. After conferring with their supervisor on the last day, I handed over the files, the reports and the marks. Well, I tried to be fair in evaluating them. There was a glitch in the arrangement of supervising them. I was only supposed to be in-charge of only 2 out of 3 i.e. Liza and Zaini. Unfortunately, Shazliyana's CT had a minor stroke and I had to take over her task too. Anyway, all this while I was in-charge of the 3 of them trying to cover-up for the other teacher whose health issues deteriorated from May.

So, what had I gained over the months they were here? The trainees were so young (Akmal's age) about 23 years of age. What was nice about them was the fact that they were willing to learn and be guided. After the second observation, I was very dissatisfied with their performance and attitude. Some teachers had also complained about their involvement in the clubs and societies that they were required to serve. I withheld their observation report for almost a fortnight trying to figure out how to reprimand these trainees. By nature, I am not a diplomatic person and I can be very forthright and just speak my mind. I guess I offend some people through this. Thus, one day, I just sat with them and told them what I expected of them, what they should at least try to achieve after their stint here and made their practicum much more worthwhile. Alhamdulillah, they were open-hearted about it, accepted the reprimands, the guidelines, the advice .... that at the end of their practicum, the other teachers in the staffroom declared them the best trainees we ever had !!!  :-D))  I was so proud. Some teachers laughingly joked - "See who their CT is !!" Ha...Ha...Ha...

Our last day together was on the field for Sports Day. They actively participated and decorated their Sport's house tents, took part in the teacher's event and even cheered for their house. We just sat talking and taking photos. They finally revealed that initially, they were also afraid of me as I looked so serious and no nonsense attitude. Not only students had this fear but also them. Huh???? Oh well, my reputation precedes me. By now they were glad I was their CT and had a deep respect for my professional attitude.

Back to the question posed earlier - what had I gained from my stint as CT ? I learned how to handle a delicate situation in how to talk to these young, future teachers without diffusing their interest and enthusiasm in their profession. I learned to be accommodating and helpful guiding them without suffocating them or mollycoddling them. I learned to guide and not lead. I learned to lower my expectations. I learned that they came with new methodology and that their teaching style now was more relaxing, open-handed, leaning towards facilitating instead of teaching. At the end of their practicum stint, I guess all of us learned something from each other.

Before we hugged and said goodbye, I wished them all the best in their chosen career and hoped that they would uphold the teaching profession. They went around the field thanking all the teachers who were still around and taking photographs with the students. Finally, they shed tears of leaving .... So, I guess, their practicum stint was worthwhile after all.... :-)))  As a farewell gift, I had given them a hand-made crochet bookmark courtesy of Wah. My staff was surprised that I, as the CT, gave them a token of remembrance. They had come to me for a season and somehow or rather, had touched my life. They had tasted my cooking, of course - chicken sandwich, macaroni blackpepper, almond rocher (courtesy of Ikram and Syafiq), apples ... - I treated them like my own children. In return this is what they had given me and a touching note of appreciation.

The box of chocolates - they said this was all they could afford - I thanked them and told them it was the thought that counted .. ;-))

I did not do much yet they were so appreciative. I was so touched ... ;-}

I hope this is the first and last stint as a CT .... ;-)