Arafah 2005M / 1426H

It's time for wukuf. It's the starting of the Haj ritual. It's actually very near Mekah but due to almost 2.5 million pilgrims moving at almost the same time caused the roads leading to Arafah to be heavy with all kinds of vehicles. There were buses with no roofs and full of pilgrims, I think from Africa. It actually took about half an hour to reach Arafah in normal days but during the Haj it took almost 4 hours. If you were lucky.

I was having a high fever due to the incident with kak Maisah or maybe that was just a reason. Yet, I managed to be alert. We left after breakfast and expected to be there latest by Zohor. We finally reached Arafah almost noon. I was too tired and went to my designated tent. Males and females were in separate tents. We were already given our tent number and mattress number. All I could do was just to lie down for awhile before the prayers started. After Asar, Noor came to look for me to say our prayers together but I was too sick. So, I prayed in the tent and he went on his own. Arafah was near Jabal Rahmah. It was a day when Allah the Most Compassionate and Forgiving opened up the doors of heavens above and forgave every sin that we had ever done as a Muslim. All I did was just prayed and cried over the stupidity of my zillions of sins and hoped that He would show me the way to be a better person on this earth and thereafter.

I prayed when I went to Mekah that I would not meet anybody that I knew so that I would not be distracted. Zaiton was looking for me. Noor met her. She found my tent and my mattress was just next to the entrance yet she did not see me. A miracle wasn't it? Neither did we meet at all during the Haj. Even Norhayati. I was on my own most of the time and it was just time for me and Allah. Nobody else.

Tears fell freely in Arafah. Every single tear washed away the sins we had committed whether we did it knowingly or unknowingly. Repentance was sincere. Remorse was deeply felt. Everybody was in a world of their own. Just for one night, yet it felt like it was the longest night during the Haj. You came out of Arafah cleansed, comforted and loved. You felt accepted by Allah. You felt at peace with yourself. You felt a better person. You felt like a whole new person and aimed to remain as that person. InsyaAllah.