Wednesday, 3rd August 2005

Izwan smsed at about 5:00pm that Mak had passed away. I was at the shop. If the message was from Izwan, then it must be true. Adik called a few minutes later asking for the truth. I told her Izwan was not the type to make jokes. I called up Hamid and confirmed. It was a Wednesday. I told Noor and told him I'm going back to Melaka. He said it was okay. I'm glad for his silence because I just could not comprehend the news yet. I called my HM and told her about Mak. She was very compassionate and told me to go home and she'd arrange whatever leave when I came back. We dropped by UiTM Penang and took Amirah, my niece with us. This was her favourite granddaughter since she took care of her until she was 8 years old. I called my friend in Seremban and asked her to go to Akmal's school and sent him to the toll booth at Senawang. Nadia and Shaun would fetch him. We would all meet in Melaka. I was quiet all along the journey and just silent tears kept rolling down my cheeks. Noor was quiet, too. Bless him.

We reached Peringgit nearly Subuh. I went to the surau and did my prayers first. The old neighbours were there and gave us their condolences. We met up and decided that everything would be done at Izwan's house at Bertam. Kak Ti, Kak Hajar, Wah, Hanah and I bathed her along with the ladies from the masjid. She was so peaceful. She was so thin. She was so fragile. She looked as though she was sleeping. Even the ladies commented that she was so clean. It was as though she had prepared for her death and cleaned herself first. Kak Ti ambilkan wudu' dia. We tried so hard not to cry.

The ladies kapankan dia with so much gentleness. We helped them with as much tenderness and love we had for her. Abang, my half-brother and her step-son, imamkan solat jenazah dia. Zin galikan kubur dia. Dia tak bagi sesiapa pun tolong even though his friends were with him. Dia galikan sebelah kubur Bapak kat Peringgit. Zin sendiri tunggu dalam kubur dan sambut jenazah Mak. Abang talkinkan mak tiri dia. Hamid bacakan doa untuk mak dia. We let her go dengan tenang dan penuh kasih sayang. Later we converge to Izwan's house and discussed beradik-beradik. Noor had gone to Bukit Rambai with the boys so that I could have this time with my siblings. We did not cry anymore. We talked about Mak. We recalled the happy times. We laughed. We cried as we each recalled the good times. The trying times. We let her go with our love and prayers.

My friends from USM called to inform me that they had taken my graduation robe and the mortar board for me. My graduation was on the 11th August 2005. She did not live to see me graduated. Bapak did not live to see me graduated from teaching college. It was a solemn affair for me. I wasn't prepared for it. I didn't even buy a new dress. My friends were so supportive and encouraging in the face of my dearest loss.

Today is the 6th year you have gone but never forgotten. Whatever good deed I do, it would always be for you. Mak was the most generous person ever lived. "Biar orang buat kita, jangan kita buat orang" finally meant something to us. That was why she led a peaceful, calm and patient life. Whatever I had become and who I am today was because of Mak and Bapak. May their souls rest in peace. In addition to this beautiful and blessed month of Ramadhan, may all the goodness we do, will be for them. Al-fatihah. Amin.