Mak...(1)

Mak was a very simple woman. Elegant, gentle, neat, soft spoken yet firm. She never raised her voice or expressed her dissatisfaction about her life. She never talked about her disappointments in her children. Mind you, she had 12 of us. Her life was very difficult as a child. I used to spend a lot of time with her especially after Bapak's demise. She was a Chinese adopted by a Java couple in Singapore. Being given away by parents she never knew or siblings never found. The Malay family that took her in passed her from one extended family to another. She had a hard life and a typical cruel, unhappy stepmother and step grandmother. She was still lucky that she managed to go to school until 12 years old. She could read and write especially jawi. She worked as an amah in the hospital before being married off at 17 to my father , who was 20 years her senior. She had stepchildren who were just about 10 years younger. She didn't look after her stepchildren. They were raised by their aunt from their late mother's side. Yet they were close to us due to my father's upbringing. Mak pampered them whenever they returned home.

 Being married to an English educated man and an urbanite, Bapak was a typical conservative gentleman. He took care of everything and Mak only had to stay home and took care of the house and children. He engaged makciks to help her out with the house chores. Mak's job was to cook. Bapak went to the market. She hardly left the house. When she needed or wanted something like furniture, clothes, jewellery or whatnots, Bapak would call these people to the house. All she had to do was just to choose whatever she wanted. She was really pampered by Bapak. She took care of us with love, understanding and open mindedness. She complemented Bapak actually. Where Bapak was strict, disciplinarian and oh...so conservative, she was more lenient, conspired with us and very open minded.

She was without knowing her roots or her sense of belonging.  Bapak was an only child with an adopted sister. We grew up together without the influence of aunts or uncles. We grew up very close to each other and totally depended on each other without suffocating ourselves. Mak let us made our own decisions. After Bapak died, she was so lost. She totally broke down. She was helpless. Instead of having her children for support, one by one began to leave home. Hanah went off to Japan. Adik went to USA. Hafsah to KL. Hamid to Muar. Izwan to boarding school. I was in JB. Nobody was home. The saddest part was having to let go of the house where we grew up in three days after Bapak's funeral. Who would not fall apart?

Che Poon Binti Suki...we got her good genes -fair skin, youthful looks, straight black hair and small eyes :-D